There are two types of these
eyedrops that are commonly used in eye
exams:
Dye and
Dilate. They are both fun - for the
doctor. For the patient they are just weird. Read on:
Dye
To the
casual patient, this is a yellow/orange dye-like substance that
lets
supposed doctor see what your eye might look like if you were both
swimming in cheap,
supermarket brand orange juice during the
examination. I am not, by any means a casual patient.
"What are in those drops, anyways?"
"Look at my nose, try not to look at this blue light as it
comes
really close to your eye. Oh, and don't blink.
Those drops? Those are mostly a dye..."
Exam finishes.
"...Oh, and theres some anesthetic in there too."
"Anesthetic? For what?"
(hesitantly)"Well, that blue light you saw actually touches your eye."
I still don't believe him.
I didnt feel a thing.
DilateThis is the fun one. The doctor loads up your defenseless eyes with these
drops, and then sends you out into the waiting room with a comforting
"Come on back when you
can't see straight". So you sit in the waiting
room
with those bright
fluorescent lights above you, trying to read a
magazine
without letting any light hit your eye directly, and holding the magazine
a good 4 feet from your face, so you can actually focus on some of the
words on the page.
20 minutes elapse.
An indistinct form
almost, but not quite, entirely unlike an optometrist drifts into the
room.
(voice from the top end of the form)"So, I guess thats probably
kicked
in by now, eh?"
"If I could see you, I'd punch you in your constricted
pupil."
Apparently these drops dont dilate your pupils. They stop them from
constricting. Some people with darker eyes, and according to my doctor,
african americans, need a
double dose. They need the dilate drops
and the non-constrict drops. Poor brown-eyed people.