hello, old friend. it's been a while. i'm not sure how i found my way here - a quiet night, a dash of loneliness. where else could i go?

this place reminds me of another old friend who has not logged on in over 3 years. i haven't spoken to him in even longer. i loved him dearly. i hope he's found happiness.

i don't feel this so much anymore. this quiet stillness in the world in contrast to the never ending chaos in my head. the heavy weight on my heart. the longing of... of what? still haven't figured that one out. probably never will.

now and then, though, between the laughter of my beautiful children, crazy deadlines and sleepless nights working, and being an all around "normal person" - sometimes i stop and drift away from my life that has become mine, and i can't help but feel an imposter. i can't help but wonder who this is living inside my head, pushing me aside and taking over my life. shoo, you! let me out!

not really. i am happy. i am happy enough.

goodbye, old friend. see you in another year.