I came home
later than usual
yesterday,
and when i walked in the door, there was my
roommate in
all her glory.
Well, whaddaya know, it's the queen of the cold-cream lagoon...
So after our usual exchange of pleasantries, such as 'Have you bought more toilet paper?' (SHIT! Knew I was forgetting something.), 'What's that
smell?' and 'What the fuck is this doing on my side of the room?', she happened to mention that a guy called for me. 'Who?'
'I forgot'
'Did he say a name?''I can't remember'
'Didn't you write it down the message?''What, and miss the Zantac commercial?'
( Am I missing something here? She didn't want to miss a commercial?)
'So you don't know who it was?''Just said that, didn't I?'
'And you didn't write it down?''NO!'
This really pissed me off. A male finally calls
for me, and she doesn't even get all the info?
'Was it my dad?'
'I don't think so.'
'Who
did he ask for?''You'
'Yeah, but did he say
'Is Ms. Ross there' or did he use my name?''He used your name.'
'You sure?''Yeah, actually it was
weird because he used your full name, like your dad
does.'
'But it wasn't my dad, right?''Right'
So this is weird. Aside from my dad, the only people who know my full name are THIS DODO HERE NEXT TO ME, and the people who read my college applications. Oh, and
also Jeff.
'Was it Jeff?'
'Jeff?'
'My stepbrother?' 'Nah.'
'How do you know?''Because he didn't call me Mustard-face'
(That's what you call her, Jeff? Way to go! Wish I'd thought of it ...)
'So
it wasn't him. And it wasn't my dad?''Will you stop
it already? It wasn't your dad, and it wasn't Jeff, and
I can't rememember, OKAY?'
'NO IT'S NOT OKAY! SOME GUY
CALLED FOR ME AND YOU DIDN'T TAKE A MESSAGE! What happened
to the message pad i bought?''Message pad?'
'Yeah,
the one that says 'while you were gone...''I was
busy, alright? I TOLD YOU'
'Fuck you and your busy. Doing what? What were you watching that commercial for anyway?''Fuck yourself, bitch, you are so clueless'(What is it about the commercial?)
'So was the commercial worth it?''I don't know'
'Why not?''I hadda go pee in middle.'
'WHAT? You couldn't take a message for me, but it was okay to go pee?!?!''Sheesh, you know, you shouldn't yell like that! Your face is all red and the veins on your neck stick out.'
'I'M MAD AT YOU!' 'Is it PMS?'
'NO ITS NOT PMS, I JUST HAD A HARD DAY, AND I'M WAITING FOR THIS GUY I MET LAST WEEK TO CALL, AND MY FEET HURT AND I'M GOING TO BED, OKAY!?' 'So are you available for phonecalls?'
GOD, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?