I don't want to go home (idea)

Wait!
Is it time to leave already? I just got here!

I'm not ready to go back and face the real world.
Don't want to work there anymore.
I want to find a different apartment, or new flatmates.

I don't want to go home because I live in icy silence.

This girl I live with, Pearl. She doesn't talk to me. When I walk in and say 'Hi', she doesn't deign to respond. That's how bad it is. We've somehow worked it out so that neither of us are in the same room for longer than 2 minutes alone, or 5 minutes if there's a third person. I bump into her sometimes in the hallway, after my shower. I jump guiltily as though she's a stranger. I can't pee when she can hear.

Was it me who started the deep freeze? Her? I'd say it was both of us. Me, because in my social fear of her when I moved in, I was very standoffish. (That's what I hear I act like, anyway). Why her, though ? I know we used to talk more.

I don't want to go home because I hate my job

I program in C. The people are really nice. It's a very relaxed atmosphere. I have made some friends. But I hate what I'm doing. I could switch jobs within the field, but that would entail a lot of social adjustment that I'm not comfortable with. It'd require a helluva lot of explaining to my boss. I'd still hate what I was doing.

I don't want to go back because my parents have an agenda for me

And it's not my agenda.

I don't want to go back because it's time to confront my issues

It is (again? STILL) time for me to face what I'm living with and re-evaluate what I'm doing. How I'm going to change it so I don't spend all day running to work early to leave the house, and ending work early to get out of the office. I don't want to go back because I'm scared of my tenuous self-control. I wonder how long it will last.

I don't want to go home.

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