In case you were wondering about cramps, it is easier to prevent the pain before it shows up than to fight it when it is washing over me. In case I ever forget this I will be called back from somewhere in my sleep and reminded ever so painfully. It can happen any time of day but am alert to the smaller twinges that I sleep through in nights.

I should not think I am safe for a bit because I took Advil two hours before bed. It may not seem like I would need it again till morning but I do and how can I forget these things when this is My Body?

For next time (like last time) I should remember swimming up from a deep deep sleep and surfacing doubled up on myself, clenching everything that can be clenched. But I didn't last night. Maybe I deserved the pain to balance out my happy day but mostly I was stupid stupid stupid. Do not tell me it was forgetful not stupid, it was Stupid with a capital S.

It is horrid to lie crunched in bed, it is like Ouch and Damn I Forgot The Pills Again. It is like opening my eyes to find an elephant on my belly, trying to pry me apart. It is like stumbling around in the dark, naked, trying to find a robe to envelop me in mock warmth on my way to the bathroom. Retching.

I fumbling found my pills and shaky swallowed them and crumpled in on myself on the toilet seat. Please Please Please I know it takes half an hour and I know it works best on a full stomach but Please Please Please. In bed again I keep the bathrobe on for more bundling and try placing flat hands for warmth and try breathing for calm and try thinking good thoughts like notebooks in the mail and friends and phonecalls like magic and Ouch Ouch Ouch. Do not be surprised when I tell you that it didn't work.

I was like Hurt Me Plenty and I was like Fuck You Uterus and I was like MommaMommaMomma and I finally fell asleep.