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PECCADILLES IMPORTUNES (dedicated to Marguerite Long, dated October 26, 1913)
(from Piano Music of Erik Satie Volume 3)

      Etre jaloux de son camarade qui a une grosse tete: He who is jealous is not happy. I knew a little boy who envied his parrot. He wanted to know his lessons as the parrot knew his.

      Lui manger sa tartine: Get used to seeing bread and jam without feeling the need to steal it. It could make your head swell up to touch a friend’s bread and jam. I had a dog who, secretly, smoked all my cigars. He had a stomach disorder from them. It was a great sorrow for his father!

      Profiter de ce qu’il a des cors aux pieds pour lui prendre son cerceau: This is not done. If the Good Lord sees this, he will be furious. It’s a thing that is never done, unless someone tells you so.

Satie, the velvet gentleman’s own strange stories on the music itself.