Very few, If any people know the man behind the nick. It strikes me that few people would think much of a
homenode with no writeups, no information except "lurking since E1 :)". He is one of the
deepest people I know. I
respect him for his
wisdom far outweighing his years, more than he could possibly know. I considered him my
best friend for more than two years, and I still do, despite the distance between us.
I met him my freshman year of High School. The quiet one on the bus. I didn't think much of him I am sorry to say, but I observed him. Quiet, isolated, removed. I wondered who he was, what he was like. The same black clothing every day, why?
It took me a week or so before I approached him, on a whim. The conversation was nothing of substance, just kind of trying to feel him out. At first, he only gave me the shallowest level of conversation acceptable by social standards I did the same. I invited him out, but I knew he would say no. I tried to get his attention somehow, but I just didn't know that to say, or do.
Then one day, it happened. I mentioned computers. His eyes shot up a little, I had gained his attention. In the next few weeks, he showed me how little I knew about technology as a whole. He introduced me to IRC, to Counter-Strike, to Linux. He even introduced me to Everything. I learned more from him in six months than I could hope to learn in High School, more that matters anyway.
He finally came out, to play paintball. I think he had fun, but I may never know. We went a few times here or there, I began to know him a bit better. I met his friends, he met mine. They meshed into our friends.
Summer, school, his sister came, he left, came back
I got my license, he got another computer, I showed him the obvious, he showed me the obscure. Music, literature, school, drugs; we were side by side.
Christmas came and went, I hope your new years' was as fun as mine
Then his father died. I feel words are insignificant.
He moved on.
Spring came, and the notorious spring break with it. Nick, James, Robbie, Megan. I had more fun that week than I had had in a long time, maybe ever. For the first time ever, I felt free.
School finished, he graduated. Fuck yeah.
A week later he was gone. Moved to the great white north. I didn't realize how big of a part of my life he was until it was too late.
We keep in touch, but it's not the same. Rochelle is your new hardon, your new me. I
envy her, strange as that sounds.
I didn't ever really know what your relationship with your father meant to you, how much he probably means to you. I doubt I ever will. You have experienced a loss I can't even begin to comprehend. I'm sorry for not being there, I feel I should have been.
You have given me memories I will never forget. Because of you, I will never look at a machete the same way, Hardwood floors intrigue me. I will always have stories, reminders of you.
You are the brother I never had. For that, and much more, I am eternally grateful.
If you find this, let me know. I hesitate to show it to you now, but maybe in time, if you don't find it, I will. I wish you the best of luck in the present and future, and I will see you soon.