I always hear people say, "I'll take anything that's free! I love free stuff." But
something happened recently that made me think half these people are
liars.
Walking home from the bank a few weeks ago, I chanced to see a pair of pants lying at the edge of the parking lot, near the street. About five seconds after passing them (after stopping to make sure I didn't see anyone I recognized anywhere around me), I turned around and went back to investigate. I picked them up with the tips of my thumb and forefinger and slowly brought the pants to within smelling range. No smell of urine, no stains... I dropped them on the ground and stepped on them a few times; no hypodermic needles in the pockets either. Not seeing any blood or other reasons to not want them, I picked them up and carried them back to my room. After all, pants are expensive when you're on a part-time job, college-type budget. And they're actually pretty nice-looking, gray slacks. I'd be a fool not to have picked them up.
I put the pants in with my last load of laundry, and wore them for the first time today. They're about 8 sizes too big, but baggy pants are supposed to be cool these days anyway, and that's why I have a belt.
"On the side of the road?!" the first person exclaimed, "Do you have any idea where those could have been?" I admitted I hadn't any idea, but then again, did they know where their clothes from Savers, or even their clothes from the department store had been before they bought them? "No, it's different... those could've belonged to some bum, or some junkie, or, or... or something." Wtf cares? They were free, and I washed them. Just about everyone I've talked to thinks it was a horrible idea to get this free item. Apparenly, free stuff is only good when being solicited and handed out by someone, even though then it means that the person wants something out of you in exchange (like a service agreement, or your soul). My conclusion: people are hypocrites and fools.
Except for one of my more creative friends, who was probably just high when I talked to him today. His response to Hey-look-at-these-cool-free-pants-I-found-on-the-side-of-the-road:
"Well, how do you think they got there, just abandoned in the parking lot? Probably, someone was murdered, and the murderer was dragging the corpse by the pants leg (to keep his prints off the corpse) to someplace where he could dispose of it, when the body just fell out of the pants. So he left them there and started dragging the body off by the nostrils. But by picking up those pants, you're taking away the only piece of evidence that had the murderer's prints on it, man! You're setting a criminal free amongst us, to kill again. And you know the first person he's gonna go after? The guy who has the dirt on him... you!"