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Burger King's Whopper burger needs two hands. The triple fried-egg sandwich with chili sauce and chutney needs four hands. Yes, it's big.

What is it? It's an idea poached (excuse the pun) from Red Dwarf. An episode where they're all drunk, and discuss fried-egg-chili-chutney sandwiches, in particular one whose recipe is in "a book about bacteriological warfare". Indeed, it is food fit for a king - if the king lives on campus. Simple to make, experimental, delicious, somewhat filling, and (occasionally) messy: perfect for the uni student, or twenty-something living alone.

What to do? Grab a frying pan, fry (or poach) three eggs, and stick them in between four bits of bread with chili sauce and chutney filling in the gaps. Not suitable for vegans or non-ovo-lacto vegetarians1, but definitely suitable for a five-minute snack that lasts three hours in your belly. Oh. Also, be prepared for a burning sensation in your mouth and an aftertaste of chutney. Enjoy!

1 You'd be surprised how many nongs there are around here who don't know what ovo-lacto means, even after they've had it explained to them five times.