*Nodeshell rescue*

Slice a loaf of French bread in half, then add pizza toppings: sauce, pepperoni, cheese, etc. Shove it in the oven (On a cookie sheet!) at a decent temperature, say 350 degrees. Let it bake until the cheese fully melts and the toppings begin to look crispy. Remove it (use an oven mitt). You can now either slap it on a plate, or slice it and move it to a plate (or platter, if you're making it for a group). Ingest, avoid burning fingertips or tongue. When finished, smile and say, "Damn, that was good."