display | more...
A story about a good friend of mine that was far too good to not be told. (Also high among the reasons i will try very hard to never piss her off.)

Some years ago, she got a lease with a couple friends in a very nice apartment in most all respects. Good price, nice location, enough room. Nice. Except that it had insect problems, like a brown recluse behind the dryer... and oh yes, cockroaches. Lots of them.

She went in to talk to the landlord, very nice and polite.
"Can you please call an exterminator? We have a cockroach infestataion."
"Miss, i can assure you there are no roaches in that apartment.
"But there are roaches!"
"There are no roaches!"

Repeat process about five times over the next few months--find roaches, go complain, be told there are none, leave.

Late one night, and time for pasta. She hauls out a pot to cook the noodles in, and hears a strange scritching inside. Peeks in the lid and it's very much a roach. Fed up, she soaks a cotton ball in either hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol, i forget which, and throws it in. The scratching gets frantic, then slows down and stops as the beastie suffocates. Fed up, and now not the least bit hungry, she goes searching. Grabs roaches in a towel, instead of squishing them with a shoe, and they all go in the pot with the first.

The next day she enters the manager's office, carrying her backpack for school and a brown paper bag with her lunch, or so one assumes.
"Sir, *please* call an exterminator, we have roaches."
"Miss, I've told you many times before, there are no roaches there!"
she opens her "lunch" and dumps a good half dozen or more roach corpses on his desk, right in front of him.
"Yes, we have roaches. Would you please call an exterminator?"

He looks at her. Looks at the roaches. Looks at her. Looks at the roaches. Still looking at the roaches, he reaches for his card deck for the exterminator's number and dials it, never once taking his eyes off of either her or the roaches. She walked out the door to class as he talked to the exterminator.

When she got home just a few hours later the place had been sprayed and there wasn't a roach in sight.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.