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Most people have heard of "The rules"(aka Treat 'em mean; keep 'em keen)

It's a how-to-get-a-guy-and-keep-him type book, written by two American birds, and from what I can gather has been read by half the female population of the world.*

The authoresses of this "dating manual" worked out that all the women they knew who had snared some well-to-do dentist or whatnot had used the same tactics. They set about writing a book to impart this wisdom to any woman who was willing to compromise her true self and act like a dizzy bitch in order to a ring on her finger.

Read with about 15,000 tongues firmly in your cheek, or with enough pinches of salt to kill the world snail polulation, the book is fucking hilarious. However, to save you standing next to a bucket for a day while you read it, I have drawn up a lists of points which I feel capture the essence of The Rules' philosophy (from a woman's point of view -- 'coz I am one).

The premise:

All women want to get married
All women will do whatever is necessary to keep a man interested for long enough for him to propose
All women have trouble finding a man who wants to marry them not vica versa
All men want to marry someone they don't understand, because they like mystery
All men, if frustrated enough by your not calling them / shagging them, will want to marry you
This is the best reason for getting married

The course of action (a.k.a. How to snare your prey):

Never speak to a man (He might think you like him)
Never call a man (He might think you like him)
When a man calls you, never appear interested in speaking to him. (see above)
Never say anything (You might say something he doesn't like)
Never eat anything (Men don't like women who eat)
Never drink anything (Men don't like women who drink)
Never laugh (Men don't like women with a sense of humour)
Never cry (Men definitely don't like women who cry)
Never tell the man anything about yourself (You might be something he doesn't like)
Never be anything other than bland, that way, whatever type of girl he likes, you've got it covered
What type of man you like IS NOT THE ISSUE
If you're ugly have plastic sugery**

The result:

The "Rules Woman" succeeds in getting married to a man who clearly wanted a boring submissive girlie with no personality, and is forced to spend the rest of her life either:

a) pretending to be someone she isn't;


b) Being a boring submissive girlie with no personality in which case she deserves all she gets.

Purporting to be a book about women getting what they want, the book is actually about giving men what they want. So it's not very feminist at all.

See "The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing" for reasons why "The Rules" will not get you a decent relationship.

* If you're a guy you will presumably also have come to this conclusion.
** Actual quote

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