display | more...

I got a phone call, it was early in the morning. I was needed. There was an internet soccer competition and the E2 team needed me - well, needed all of us. Unfortunately, I'd had a big night the night before, and so had heppigirl - still Sneff was pleased with the team he had pulled together. Wikipedia were short more than five players, and although we were no Socceroos, E2 fielded a full team, even if not all the players were at 100%.

I believe we won by forfeit. Hehehehe.

* * * * *

After the match, Oprah Winfrey was at the after match party. She seemed a bit concerned about her latest ratings. So I told her my partner had suggested that she could make a better show if she only did one per week, and abandoned the daily shows.

She smiled as though she was listening, but I could tell she had another idea in mind. Funny that she didn't want my advice.

We were both waiting for Sneff to turn up to make some food masterpieces - and I suggested that she get him on her show. She said it would be difficult to get him over there, but she certainly thought it would be a good idea. He arrived and started plating up.

In the meantime, someone in the background had been making announcements. And then I realised he was reading a list of charges. Even better, most of my soccer mates - me included - were the alleged offenders. I wasn't worried, the charges were minor and very unsubstantiated.

But then I found out Oprah's idea for improving her ratings. These charges were announced on her show, and we were dropped one by one into an obstacle course. The obstacles were not particularly difficult, logs that were easy to step over or walk around, wire circle to climb under, rope ladders to climb, that sort of thing. There were as many obstacles as there were charges faced.

The obstacles were potentially explosive, mined. I was the last in, with the lesser charges. But of course, when I reached about halfway through the field, it was I who exploded.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.