I guess this is nothing special, but I have to talk about it.
Intro:
I've got a
girlfriend. I like her. I think I do
love her. She's nice and she's sweet and though there are some things, some
manners in her
behaviour that
annoy me, I wouldn't
leave her. First of all, because it's nice to be with her, to
kiss her, to know that you've got
someone who cares about you. But also because I wouldn't want to
hurt her - I guess that's got something to do with love - and - what's most important - because I don't want to lose my
social acceptance. Not because I wouldn't have a girlfriend anymore then, but because of what my and her family could think about me.
I need social acceptance.
I can't live knowing there's someone who
dislikes me - especially when I like the person.
BEGIN - Dream Sequence
(1)
Marie (my
roommate in my student-flat) and I are in the
living room of my grandparents' house. It seems we are naked. We get some sort of
intimate, I close the
curtains. Then, suddenly, my grandparents appear.
END
(2)
My old room in the
flat of my parents. I'm lying in the lower half of my elevated-bed, Marie's lying in the upper half. I stand up because of something, she sits up, wearing an open
bath robe and
underwear. I do something, then go to her. She lies down again and I begin to
stroke her face and kiss her.
END
END - Dream Sequence
Now, the
problem is not that I was dreaming this. I often dream
stuff like that, but normally I forget about it in the morning or I don't rate it too high. But this time, I felt like I was in love with her when I woke up. It felt so real in my dreams,
it felt so damn good to kiss her. It still feels like that.
That's
odd, because I never thought of
falling in love with her. She's
beautiful, she's really nice, but she's been a
friend, a roommate all the time. And now this
strange dream that makes me feel so ... strange.
Confused.
Writing this didn't help much to clean up my
hormone household, but it was good for
psychological first-aid.
Thank you for listening.