Chapter IX: To the Metropolis
With the above words the good man left the room before I had time
to express my
astonishment at hearing such extraordinary language
from the lips of one who seemed to be a reputable member of
society. "
Embezzle a large sum of money under singularly
distressing circumstances!" I exclaimed to myself, "and ask ME to
go and stay with him! I shall do nothing of the sort--compromise
myself at the very
outset in the eyes of all decent people, and
give the death-blow to my chances of either converting them if they
are the lost tribes of Israel, or making money out of them if they
are not! No. I will do anything rather than that." And when I
next saw my teacher I told him that I did not at all like the sound
of what had been proposed for me, and that I would have nothing to
do with it. For by my education and the example of my own parents,
and I trust also in some degree from inborn instinct, I have a very
genuine dislike for all
unhandsome dealings in money matters,
though none can have a greater regard for money than I have, if it
be got fairly.
The interpreter was much surprised by my answer, and said that I
should be very foolish if I persisted in my refusal.
Mr. Nosnibor, he continued, "is a man of at least 500,000 horse-
power" (for their way of reckoning and classifying men is by the
number of foot pounds which they have money enough to raise, or
more roughly by their horse-power), "and keeps a capital table;
besides, his two daughters are among the most beautiful women in
Erewhon."
When I heard all this, I confess that I was much shaken, and
inquired whether he was favourably considered in the best society.
"Certainly," was the answer; "no man in the country stands higher."
He then went on to say that one would have thought from my manner
that my proposed host had had jaundice or pleurisy or been
generally unfortunate, and that I was in fear of infection.
"I am not much afraid of infection," said I, impatiently, "but I
have some regard for my character; and if I know a man to be an
embezzler of other people's money, be sure of it, I will give him
as wide a berth as I can. If he were ill or poor--"
"Ill or poor!" interrupted the interpreter, with a face of great
alarm. "So that's your notion of propriety! You would consort
with the basest criminals, and yet deem simple embezzlement a bar
to friendly intercourse. I cannot understand you."
"But I am poor myself," cried I.
"You were," said he; "and you were liable to be severely punished
for it,--indeed, at the council which was held concerning you, this
fact was very nearly consigning you to what I should myself
consider a well-deserved chastisement" (for he was getting angry,
and so was I); "but the Queen was so inquisitive, and wanted so
much to see you, that she petitioned the King and made him give you
his pardon, and assign you a pension in consideration of your
meritorious complexion. It is lucky for you that he has not heard
what you have been saying now, or he would be sure to cancel it."
As I heard these words my heart sank within me. I felt the extreme
difficulty of my position, and how wicked I should be in running
counter to established usage. I remained silent for several
minutes, and then said that I should be happy to accept the
embezzler's invitation,--on which my instructor brightened and said
I was a sensible fellow. But I felt very uncomfortable. When he
had left the room, I mused over the conversation which had just
taken place between us, but I could make nothing out of it, except
that it argued an even greater perversity of mental vision than I
had been yet prepared for. And this made me wretched; for I cannot
bear having much to do with people who think differently from
myself. All sorts of wandering thoughts kept coming into my head.
I thought of my master's hut, and my seat upon the mountain side,
where I had first conceived the insane idea of exploring. What
years and years seemed to have passed since I had begun my journey!
I thought of my adventures in the gorge, and on the journey hither,
and of Chowbok. I wondered what Chowbok told them about me when he
got back,--he had done well in going back, Chowbok had. He was not
handsome--nay, he was hideous; and it would have gone hardly with
him. Twilight drew on, and rain pattered against the windows.
Never yet had I felt so unhappy, except during three days of sea-
sickness at the beginning of my voyage from England. I sat musing
and in great melancholy, until Yram made her appearance with light
and supper. She too, poor girl, was miserable; for she had heard
that I was to leave them. She had made up her mind that I was to
remain always in the town, even after my imprisonment was over; and
I fancy had resolved to marry me though I had never so much as
hinted at her doing so. So what with the distressingly strange
conversation with my teacher, my own friendless condition, and
Yram's melancholy, I felt more unhappy than I can describe, and
remained so till I got to bed, and sleep sealed my eyelids.
On awaking next morning I was much better. It was settled that I
was to make my start in a conveyance which was to be in waiting for
me at about eleven o'clock; and the anticipation of change put me
in good spirits, which even the tearful face of Yram could hardly
altogether derange. I kissed her again and again, assured her that
we should meet hereafter, and that in the meanwhile I should be
ever mindful of her kindness. I gave her two of the buttons off my
coat and a lock of my hair as a keepsake, taking a goodly curl from
her own beautiful head in return: and so, having said good-bye a
hundred times, till I was fairly overcome with her great sweetness
and her sorrow, I tore myself away from her and got down-stairs to
the caleche which was in waiting. How thankful I was when it was
all over, and I was driven away and out of sight. Would that I
could have felt that it was out of mind also! Pray heaven that it
is so now, and that she is married happily among her own people,
and has forgotten me!
And now began a long and tedious journey with which I should hardly
trouble the reader if I could. He is safe, however, for the simple
reason that I was blindfolded during the greater part of the time.
A bandage was put upon my eyes every morning, and was only removed
at night when I reached the inn at which we were to pass the night.
We travelled slowly, although the roads were good. We drove but
one horse, which took us our day's journey from morning till
evening, about six hours, exclusive of two hours' rest in the
middle of the day. I do not suppose we made above thirty or
thirty-five miles on an average. Each day we had a fresh horse.
As I have said already, I could see nothing of the country. I only
know that it was level, and that several times we had to cross
large rivers in ferry-boats. The inns were clean and comfortable.
In one or two of the larger towns they were quite sumptuous, and
the food was good and well cooked. The same wonderful health and
grace and beauty prevailed everywhere.
I found myself an object of great interest; so much so, that the
driver told me he had to keep our route secret, and at times to go
to places that were not directly on our road, in order to avoid the
press that would otherwise have awaited us. Every evening I had a
reception, and grew heartily tired of having to say the same things
over and over again in answer to the same questions, but it was
impossible to be angry with people whose manners were so
delightful. They never once asked after my health, or even whether
I was fatigued with my journey; but their first question was almost
invariably an inquiry after my temper, the naivete of which
astonished me till I became used to it. One day, being tired and
cold, and weary of saying the same thing over and over again, I
turned a little brusquely on my questioner and said that I was
exceedingly cross, and that I could hardly feel in a worse humour
with myself and every one else than at that moment. To my
surprise, I was met with the kindest expressions of condolence, and
heard it buzzed about the room that I was in an ill temper; whereon
people began to give me nice things to smell and to eat, which
really did seem to have some temper-mending quality about them, for
I soon felt pleased and was at once congratulated upon being
better. The next morning two or three people sent their servants
to the hotel with sweetmeats, and inquiries whether I had quite
recovered from my ill humour. On receiving the good things I felt
in half a mind to be ill-tempered every evening; but I disliked the
condolences and the inquiries, and found it most comfortable to
keep my natural temper, which is smooth enough generally.
Among those who came to visit me were some who had received a
liberal education at the Colleges of Unreason, and taken the
highest degrees in hypothetics, which are their principal study.
These gentlemen had now settled down to various employments in the
country, as straighteners, managers and cashiers of the Musical
Banks, priests of religion, or what not, and carrying their
education with them they diffused a leaven of culture throughout
the country. I naturally questioned them about many of the things
which had puzzled me since my arrival. I inquired what was the
object and meaning of the statues which I had seen upon the plateau
of the pass. I was told that they dated from a very remote period,
and that there were several other such groups in the country, but
none so remarkable as the one which I had seen. They had a
religious origin, having been designed to propitiate the gods of
deformity and disease. In former times it had been the custom to
make expeditions over the ranges, and capture the ugliest of
Chowbok's ancestors whom they could find, in order to sacrifice
them in the presence of these deities, and thus avert ugliness and
disease from the Erewhonians themselves. It had been whispered
(but my informant assured me untruly) that centuries ago they had
even offered up some of their own people who were ugly or out of
health, in order to make examples of them; these detestable
customs, however, had been long discontinued; neither was there any
present observance of the statues.
I had the curiosity to inquire what would be done to any of
Chowbok's tribe if they crossed over into Erewhon. I was told that
nobody knew, inasmuch as such a thing had not happened for ages.
They would be too ugly to be allowed to go at large, but not so
much so as to be criminally liable. Their offence in having come
would be a moral one; but they would be beyond the straightener's
art. Possibly they would be consigned to the Hospital for
Incurable Bores, and made to work at being bored for so many hours
a day by the Erewhonian inhabitants of the hospital, who are
extremely impatient of one another's boredom, but would soon die if
they had no one whom they might bore--in fact, that they would be
kept as professional borees. When I heard this, it occurred to me
that some rumours of its substance might perhaps have become
current among Chowbok's people; for the agony of his fear had been
too great to have been inspired by the mere dread of being burnt
alive before the statues.
I also questioned them about the museum of old machines, and the
cause of the apparent retrogression in all arts, sciences, and
inventions. I learnt that about four hundred years previously, the
state of mechanical knowledge was far beyond our own, and was
advancing with prodigious rapidity, until one of the most learned
professors of hypothetics wrote an extraordinary book (from which I
propose to give extracts later on), proving that the machines were
ultimately destined to supplant the race of man, and to become
instinct with a vitality as different from, and superior to, that
of animals, as animal to vegetable life. So convincing was his
reasoning, or unreasoning, to this effect, that he carried the
country with him; and they made a clean sweep of all machinery that
had not been in use for more than two hundred and seventy-one years
(which period was arrived at after a series of compromises), and
strictly forbade all further improvements and inventions under pain
of being considered in the eye of the law to be labouring under
typhus fever, which they regard as one of the worst of all crimes.
This is the only case in which they have confounded mental and
physical diseases, and they do it even here as by an avowed legal
fiction. I became uneasy when I remembered about my watch; but
they comforted me with the assurance that transgression in this
matter was now so unheard of, that the law could afford to be
lenient towards an utter stranger, especially towards one who had
such a good character (they meant physique), and such beautiful
light hair. Moreover the watch was a real curiosity, and would be
a welcome addition to the metropolitan collection; so they did not
think I need let it trouble me seriously.
I will write, however, more fully upon this subject when I deal
with the Colleges of Unreason, and the Book of the Machines.
In about a month from the time of our starting I was told that our
journey was nearly over. The bandage was now dispensed with, for
it seemed impossible that I should ever be able to find my way back
without being captured. Then we rolled merrily along through the
streets of a handsome town, and got on to a long, broad, and level
road, with poplar trees on either side. The road was raised
slightly above the surrounding country, and had formerly been a
railway; the fields on either side were in the highest conceivable
cultivation, but the harvest and also the vintage had been already
gathered. The weather had got cooler more rapidly than could be
quite accounted for by the progress of the season; so I rather
thought that we must have been making away from the sun, and were
some degrees farther from the equator than when we started. Even
here the vegetation showed that the climate was a hot one, yet
there was no lack of vigour among the people; on the contrary, they
were a very hardy race, and capable of great endurance. For the
hundredth time I thought that, take them all round, I had never
seen their equals in respect of physique, and they looked as good-
natured as they were robust. The flowers were for the most part
over, but their absence was in some measure compensated for by a
profusion of delicious fruit closely resembling the figs, peaches,
and pears of Italy and France. I saw no wild animals, but birds
were plentiful and much as in Europe, but not tame as they had been
on the other side the ranges. They were shot at with the cross-bow
and with arrows, gunpowder being unknown, or at any rate not in
use.
We were now nearing the metropolis and I could see great towers and
fortifications, and lofty buildings that looked like palaces. I
began to be nervous as to my reception; but I had got on very well
so far, and resolved to continue upon the same plan as hitherto--
namely, to behave just as though I were in England until I saw that
I was making a blunder, and then to say nothing till I could gather
how the land lay. We drew nearer and nearer. The news of my
approach had got abroad, and there was a great crowd collected on
either side the road, who greeted me with marks of most respectful
curiosity, keeping me bowing constantly in acknowledgement from
side to side.
When we were about a mile off, we were met by the Mayor and several
Councillors, among whom was a venerable old man, who was introduced
to me by the Mayor (for so I suppose I should call him) as the
gentleman who had invited me to his house. I bowed deeply and told
him how grateful I felt to him, and how gladly I would accept his
hospitality. He forbade me to say more, and pointing to his
carriage, which was close at hand, he motioned me to a seat
therein. I again bowed profoundly to the Mayor and Councillors,
and drove off with my entertainer, whose name was Senoj Nosnibor.
After about half a mile the carriage turned off the main road, and
we drove under the walls of the town till we reached a palazzo on a
slight eminence, and just on the outskirts of the city. This was
Senoj Nosnibor's house, and nothing can be imagined finer. It was
situated near the magnificent and venerable ruins of the old
railway station, which formed an imposing feature from the gardens
of the house. The grounds, some ten or a dozen acres in extent,
were laid out in terraced gardens, one above the other, with
flights of broad steps ascending and descending the declivity of
the garden. On these steps there were statues of most exquisite
workmanship. Besides the statues there were vases filled with
various shrubs that were new to me; and on either side the flights
of steps there were rows of old cypresses and cedars, with grassy
alleys between them. Then came choice vineyards and orchards of
fruit-trees in full bearing.
The house itself was approached by a court-yard, and round it was a
corridor on to which rooms opened, as at Pompeii. In the middle of
the court there was a bath and a fountain. Having passed the court
we came to the main body of the house, which was two stories in
height. The rooms were large and lofty; perhaps at first they
looked rather bare of furniture, but in hot climates people
generally keep their rooms more bare than they do in colder ones.
I missed also the sight of a grand piano or some similar
instrument, there being no means of producing music in any of the
rooms save the larger drawing-room, where there were half a dozen
large bronze gongs, which the ladies used occasionally to beat
about at random. It was not pleasant to hear them, but I have
heard quite as unpleasant music both before and since.
Mr. Nosnibor took me through several spacious rooms till we reached
a boudoir where were his wife and daughters, of whom I had heard
from the interpreter. Mrs. Nosnibor was about forty years old, and
still handsome, but she had grown very stout: her daughters were
in the prime of youth and exquisitely beautiful. I gave the
preference almost at once to the younger, whose name was Arowhena;
for the elder sister was haughty, while the younger had a very
winning manner. Mrs. Nosnibor received me with the perfection of
courtesy, so that I must have indeed been shy and nervous if I had
not at once felt welcome. Scarcely was the ceremony of my
introduction well completed before a servant announced that dinner
was ready in the next room. I was exceedingly hungry, and the
dinner was beyond all praise. Can the reader wonder that I began
to consider myself in excellent quarters? "That man embezzle
money?" thought I to myself; "impossible."
But I noticed that my host was uneasy during the whole meal, and
that he ate nothing but a little bread and milk; towards the end of
dinner there came a tall lean man with a black beard, to whom Mr.
Nosnibor and the whole family paid great attention: he was the
family straightener. With this gentleman Mr. Nosnibor retired into
another room, from which there presently proceeded a sound of
weeping and wailing. I could hardly believe my ears, but in a few
minutes I got to know for a certainty that they came from Mr.
Nosnibor himself.
"Poor papa," said Arowhena, as she helped herself composedly to the
salt, "how terribly he has suffered."
"Yes," answered her mother; "but I think he is quite out of danger
now."
Then they went on to explain to me the circumstances of the case,
and the treatment which the straightener had prescribed, and how
successful he had been--all which I will reserve for another
chapter, and put rather in the form of a general summary of the
opinions current upon these subjects than in the exact words in
which the facts were delivered to me; the reader, however, is
earnestly requested to believe that both in this next chapter and
in those that follow it I have endeavoured to adhere most
conscientiously to the strictest accuracy, and that I have never
willingly misrepresented, though I may have sometimes failed to
understand all the bearings of an opinion or custom.
Erewhon : Chapter X - Current Opinions
Erewhon