Sparrow woke to
find herself wrapped snugly in the arms of a softly snoring Jocasta.
Not that she
minded, necessarily, but there were things to do this dawn that would
require the use of her actual wand arm. She was about to attempt to
gently extricate herself from Jocasta’s embrace when the girl’s
breathing hitched, and her eyes blinked open. Sparrow chuckled. "I
was a little worried you wouldn’t let me go," she murmured.
Jocasta grinned,
and held Sparrow tighter. "Your fears were correct, my
dear."
"Oh!"
Sparrow squirmed. "Why, if I could get my wand I would get out
of this!"
Suddenly Jill was
looming over Jocasta, and bending down over her – Jocasta let out a
squawk, and let go of Sparrow. Sparrow rolled out of bed and sprang
upright as Jill raised herself from Jocasta, who was holding her ear and glaring at Jill. Jill
chuckled evilly. "Two can play at that game, my dear."
Jocasta threw an
arm over her forehead. "Alas! My
own tricks, played against me!"
"And another
one," grumbled Jill, as she rolled over and wrapped her arms
around Jocasta, pinning her in a tight embrace. "Two can play at
this game too."
"Bravo brave
knight!" said Sparrow. "Once again thou hast rescued me! I
shall grant thee another plot of
land in Australia!"
"Fie upon
thee," grumbled Jocasta, somewhat muffled. "I am only
vanquished for now!"
Sparrow laughed,
as she retrieved her wand from the bedside table. Despite all that
had gone on in the past week, there was only mirth in her heart this
morn, as she faced the dawn light and recited her incantation.
…
What she felt as
she stood before the unlocked door of the Forbidden Section, however,
was only trepidation.
She had begged off
the afternoon study time, in order to return to the MSL textbook and
take whatever notes she could from it. Iphis had grumbled and growled
at yet another interruption in his lesson plan, but that was nothing
compared to what the books might do to her if she put a foot wrong.
She felt a warm
hand upon her shoulder. She turned to look up into Jill’s warm
gaze. Now she was breathing easier. "I’ll be fine, dear. This
time I’ll be fine."
"Sure you
don’t want at least one other person along?"
"I think it
has to be just me," said Sparrow. "I think I have to show
the books that I am coming in peace. Not that I’m never not armed,
even without a wand, but –" There was a rustling, as of many
pages of paper. "But I think they just heard me say that.
Alright, nothing for it." She stood on tiptoes to give Jill a
quick peck on the lips, and then, bearing little more than the warmth
of Jill’s love and some rolls of parchment, she stepped into a
domain that was not her own.
As she made her
way forward through the darkened stacks, it was not deathly silent,
as it had been in her previous forays. The rustling of paper was
hushed, but it was all about her as
she walked. She dared not speak, dared not stride mighty and proud,
nor put a hand on a single bare shelf – for to offend her hosts
now, especially after she had admitted her ever-armed status, was to
risk losing peaceful access to this place, just after she’d earned
it.
Out of the shadows
approached a pair of books, on spindly insectoid legs made of paper.
Sparrow immediately bowed low. She thought she could hear a faint
harumph from them. They
turned and skittered back towards the shadows – but then they
halted, and turned back, as if
expecting Sparrow to follow.
So Sparrow followed, down what was now a familiar path, a path
Sparrow could have followed even in the darkness – she could have
strode straight to the MSL textbook with her eyes closed. But there
was a formality to this escort. There were boundaries being set, and
boundaries being followed. The books did not attack her; nor did they
let her stray, or even fall behind – Sparrow thought she was
following at a sedate and respectful pace, but then she felt
something bump her ankles, and she looked behind to see five books
bringing up her rear, nudging her forward. Evidently the last thing
they wanted her to do was linger. Fair enough.
And here was the MSL textbook – laying open. Waiting?
Sparrow cautiously approached, and lay her scrolls of parchment next
to the open pages. She flipped through it to near the beginning of
the book, where the more basic signs and simpler spells were. Shaking
her wand out of her sleeve – causing the other books to shrink back
and growl, before she hastily explained herself – she pointed her
wand at the pages, and performed a simple copying spell, before
pointing her wand at the parchment. The identical text and images
appeared on the roll.
In this manner Sparrow retrieved enough for a single evening’s
lesson. It might have been better to have this in hand the day
before, so as to coordinate a plan with Inigo, but better late than
never. She rolled up all her parchment together and stuck it in her
pocket –
And then paused, turning back to the book, wondering. She turned to
the books on spindly legs surrounding her. "May I peruse the
back of this text?"
The books tilted their bodies, as a dog tilting its head in
puzzlement. Or, perhaps, as someone raising an eyebrow.
Sparrow turned back to the MSL textbook. "Excuse me, may I look
in your index?"
For
a moment, nothing happened. Then the pages fanned
in a blur, until Sparrow was
looking down at the index. Yes, here were the pages detailing all the
signs, and so many of them were signs for spells, spells beyond
what Sparrow had ever been taught. Spells for calling the weather,
spells for complicated human transfiguration, spells for minute effects
on specific human organs.
There was so much to the world of magic beyond the limited curriculum
that Sparrow and her fellow Wizards were ever taught. Maybe it was
just that the magical community of Wizarding Britain had only figured
out one sort of magic that was both safe to teach and
replicable. If Sparrow was being less charitable, perhaps keeping
all Wizarding children to a single curriculum left them limited and predictable. Or it might simply have been that
other forms hadn’t the cultural weight of the mainstream one,
because of Hogwarts hogging the spotlight for a thousand years and
change.
Certainly, if the other forms were Forbidden, Sparrow was going to
catch it as soon as the Ministry got wind of the matter –
The ministry should have got wind of Sparrow’s ambitions by now and
chucked a few lightning bolts her way. It
had only been a week and a half since everyone was taking
her seriously, but still. Nothing? What was taking them?
There was a snarling sound, and Sparrow jumped, coming back to her
senses. "Sorry sorry." She bowed to the book. "My
apologies for taking too much of your time. If I am permitted, I will
be back next week." She rose, turned on her heel, and strode
smartly back the way she had come, being escorted only from the rear
this time.
Back in brighter
lighting and friendlier air, Sparrow was greeted with a warm smile
from Jill. "You took a while, did you have much to copy?"
"Just
thinkin’ about stuff," mumbled Sparrow.
"Like?"
"Like I feel
like I’m not being taken seriously," said Sparrow. "Like
the Ministry clearly still thinks I’m a dope, because they haven’t
even sent anyone to yell at me yet. It’s insulting."
"You want their eyes on
you?"
"Well someone has their eyes on us!" said
Sparrow. "Someone sent those stupid Howlers, someone went after
Hogsmeade, someone’s trying to cut us off...but when is anyone
going to make their move? It feels like the entire world is waiting
with bated breath here!"
Jill took Sparrow by the hand, and started forward back the way they
came. After half a minute of silence, she let out a long breath. "I
didn’t want to hear myself saying this, but you could...ask
Professor Clearwater."
Sparrow squeezed Jill’s hand. "Thank you, dear. I know how
much it took for you to say that."
"Someday soon you’ll know
exactly how much," said Jill.
…
There was enough time left for Sparrow to get in on at least a little
of the metal-manipulation spell practice, so Iphis was ultimately not
as annoyed with her as he could have been. Jocasta was pleased to see
how quickly Sparrow picked up on it when it was demonstrated.
"Absolutely marvelous!" She clapped her hands. "And to
think at this time last year you could only turn a clothespin into an
explosion!"
"I have competent teachers now," said Sparrow.
"Teachers you pay
attention to," said Jocasta.
"Teachers I can hardly stop paying attention to." Sparrow
kissed Jocasta on the cheek.
Jocasta chuckled low, and put an arm around Sparrow’s waist,
drawing her close. "For good reason."
"Okay,"
said Jill, amidst the muffled giggling of Wren and the sighing of
Miranda, "If Sparrow and I are absolute saps, Sparrow and you
are absolute horndogs."
"For good reason," giggled Sparrow. Then she let out a long
sigh, and pushed herself away from Jocasta, who pouted. "Oh no,"
said Sparrow, "My sweet, do not cry! I must away, in time for
all my tasks tonight." She lifted Jocasta’s hand and kissed
it. "And I will be seeing you later anyway." She wiggled
her eyebrows.
"Oh
my God," said
Iphis, "get a room!"
"Taken
care of!" said Sparrow as she flounced away. "This
castle is so good to
me!"
...
As Sparrow attempted to make her way to where she thought the
Divination classroom was this evening, she considered that she might
have spoken too soon, for the path was offering far more twists and turns
than she expected. It was almost as if the castle didn’t actually
want her going that way. Which she wouldn’t have put it past the
place – but why would it care?
"You are meant to be elsewhere," said a voice behind
Sparrow, and she jumped. She whirled around. There was a familiar
woman with long sleeves and long black hair, staring down at her.
Sparrow crossed her arms. "I thought you were locked in a
Divination Battle?"
"And you were going to bother me during it?" said
Clearwater. "Let us say, fate has granted me the occasional
moment of respite. During which I would prefer to be taking care of
my personal business, so if you wish to speak to me, make it snappy."
"Why hasn’t the Ministry done anything open about me?"
said Sparrow. "Why haven’t they sent any officials? Why
haven’t I been arrested or expelled or – or anything direct,
instead of this indirect-containment stuff? Can you, you know, do a
little divination to answer any of those questions?"
Clearwater
harrumphed. "I did
tell you I was locked in a Divination Battle, didn’t I? My skills
are a little busy at
the moment. But. There is one among you who can
answer your questions, the way you are asking me."
"Yes?"
"And you are not going to like the answer."
"Oh, no."
"Oh,
yes."
"You are not
telling Jill to –"
"Indeed
I am not!" said Clearwater, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "You
are, my dear. You will
ask Jill to read
the future, in the flames.
Do you honestly think you can resist? When you are so worried about
the safety of those around you? When you have so many questions?"
"This feels really creepy," said Sparrow. "Like my
fate is written ahead of time. I thought you weren’t going to
choose the future for me."
Professor Clearwater laughed. "You think I need a crystal ball
for that? I know you, girl. I’ve been watching you long enough.
I know what matters most to you."
"Ugh!" Sparrow turned away. "Alright, if you want to
keep the conversation short by driving me away then it’s working!
Goodbye!" She marched down the corridor, putting distance
between her and Clearwater as swiftly as she could.
…
Sparrow
did not return to her crew, despite having well enough time for it.
Jill was there, and if she were to face Jill, she would invariably
wind up asking her The Dreaded Question. So she sat on
the floor of a disused
classroom,
staring up at the sunlight and pondering her options. She
could...head down to the tunnels below the dungeons and shut herself
up there. Ah, but then she would find herself beset by whatever
entity had taunted Jill and Wren. She could...try to beg Blaise to
let her stay in the Dragon Tower. But then the dragons might decide
she was a snack. She could...run away to Hogsmeade and try to ask Ivy
if she could stay in the big beech tree forever.
But all three of these plans had a fatal flaw: they would separate
her from Jill. Already she was more than an arm’s
length away, and keeping herself there. One of these days she had to
actually uphold her promise.
†††††
SPARROW.
WHERE DID YOU GO? WE’RE ALL MISSING YOU. †††††
Oh, yes, and
that was the other
fatal flaw: she couldn’t actually be stopped from communicating
with the girl, even by her own efforts. The only thing that could
keep her from asking The Dreaded Question was her own restraint.
⋄⋄I’M
SORRY, DEAR, I – I’LL MEET YOU AT DINNER, ALRIGHT? I’VE GOT
STUFF TO PONDER. ⋄⋄
††††† I
TAKE IT THINGS WENT BAD WITH CLEARWATER. WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED.
†††††
⋄⋄PERHAPS
IT IS FATE.⋄⋄
There were no more words from the girl, even as
the sun began to go down.
Shadows in the
room were longer, when Sparrow heard a small thump
of air, and Jocasta strode out into the waning sunlight from behind a
pillar. Sparrow laughed. "Drama queen."
"Honey," said Jocasta, kneeling
before Sparrow. "You’re one to talk."
"You’ve got me there," said
Sparrow.
"I’ve got you here," said Jocasta.
"What’s gotten into you? You were so chipper just hours
earlier."
Sparrow relayed all that happened with
Professor Clearwater.
Jocasta let out a long sigh. "Sparrow.
This isn’t something you should be avoiding."
"What!"
"Clearwater is right." Jocasta put a
hand on Sparrow’s shoulder. "Your character is vital to you.
Your integrity is vital. Your oath, little bird, is so much
of you. If you have even the slightest chance to know anything that
will improve the preparedness and safety of the people about you, you
won’t avoid seeking it."
"But I can’t just ask Jill to –"
"She loves you," said Jocasta. "You
think she’d cast you out of her good graces for asking a difficult
question? It’s a request she can
refuse. Come on. Do you not have any confidence in your bond? And
you have always said that you could withstand her rage! You did it
just two days ago! What daunts you now?"
"I don’t want to hurt her." Sparrow
clenched her fist. "There is little enough that could physically
hurt her, but – I could. Of all people in this world, I
could. If I ask her what I want to ask. What I will ask. I
can’t avoid it any more than I can avoid me. And yet – at the
same time I swore none would come to harm. I can’t ask Jill and I
can’t avoid it and the only thing I know how to do now is sit here
alone and delay."
Jocasta looked uncertain herself. "I...yeah,
that’s one hell of a dilemma. I mean I could ask her for you, but
then you would know, so that would violate your oath anyway...all I
can think is that, because she loves you, the request
won’t hit her as hard coming from you."
"Maybe."
"And I can hold your hand, if that’s
what it takes."
"I think what I have to do is a lot of
groveling," said Sparrow.
"Yes," said Jocasta, "I think
you will."
"I had kind of hoped you would tell me I
didn’t."
Jocasta’s eyes flashed green. "I know
her well enough." She took Sparrow by the hand, and rose with
her. "Come on, then. Let’s be Gryffindors for a day, and move forward despite our fear."
And so the two of them departed that empty
place.
…
At the dinner table, Sparrow, despite her damp
spirits, could not bring herself to refuse communication with her
friends. But she could stick to sign language, as the easiest form of
speech in her state, as it was less connected to her
emotions. She could even claim the excuse that she needed to get
herself ready for sign-language class that evening.
At which she felt even more morose, not having
any of her dear crew with her, so that her grim demeanor made the
movements of her hands sluggish enough that Inigo wound up asking her
what was going wrong once the class was over.
"I just have to go and offend someone I
care a lot about," signed Sparrow, making small movements with
her hands.
"You have to go and offend your
girlfriend," signed Inigo. "I could wish you good luck, but
what I will actually wish you is a solid shield spell."
"I may need it," signed Sparrow.
…
Sparrow could cast her shield spell in any
number of ways. But she could not cast it around her emotions. So
instead, in the Hufflepuff common room late that evening, Sparrow
cast herself on the mercy of Jill, kneeling on the carpet before her,
bowing so low as to scrape the fabric with her forehead, her arms
splayed out in front of her.
She had not actually said anything to Jill yet,
but she hoped that the gesture would be a proper start, and that the
mighty Jill, sitting in a high-backed
chair, would be placated by this obeisance –
Sparrow heard a shuffling and a thump, and
raised her head to see Jill’s face not a foot from hers,
resting on her folded arms as she splayed out supine, eyes fixed on
Sparrow’s.
Sparrow coughed. "Uh. Aren’t you
supposed to be sitting on your throne here?"
"I loom over you all the time," said
Jill. "I should have thought you would appreciate me being on
your level for once."
"But I’m trying to grovel!"
"So you’re grabbing the gravel,"
said Jill. "Why?"
"Um…"
"And does this have anything to do with
Clearwater?"
"Uh…"
Jill sighed, and rose to sit cross-legged
before Sparrow. "Little bird. What did she tell you?"
Sparrow pushed herself up to sit, and told Jill
the details of the meeting. Then she shut her eyes, hoping Jill would
laugh and refuse, fearing that she would go off
bang, even if not directly at Sparrow. Or worse, much worse, would
be for Jill to feel miserable.
Jill let out a long sigh, and slumped. This was
it then, the nightmare scenario. Sparrow scooted closer to Jill and
put a hand on her knee. "I’m not going to actually ask you to
do this."
Jill’s eyes flew wide. "But if it helps
–"
"It’s clearly affecting you even before
you do it," said Sparrow. "I’ll find another way to
divine, I’ll ask someone else – anything but forcing you to
re-live your worst years. You look like you’re doing that every
night in your nightmare dreamscape anyway."
Jill turned toward the hearth fire, narrowing
her eyes at it. The flames briefly rose higher. "You were not
wrong to worry about my response," she murmured. "I wonder
if you were even wrong to worry as much as you have, given all I have
been through, and all I have put you through, even
recently. But…" She turned back to Sparrow. "I would be
of more help to you than merely your sword, if I can at last master
myself. If I can at last believe what you told me, that you would not
scorn me for what you see in my dreams." She took a deep breath,
closing her eyes, then letting it out slowly. Her eyes snapped open.
"So it is time, this night, to let you into the center of my
nightmare. To let you see what happened, years ago. To finally open
that door."
"You would do that for me?"
"Of course." Jill smiled. "Anything
for my future wife."
There was a small thump, and Jocasta
appeared out of thin air, kneeling to drape her arm over Jill’s
shoulder and grinning. "Our
future wife."
Sparrow giggled. "I
feel so greedy to have two!"
…
The three of them remained there before the
fire, two of them tucked under Jill’s arms, for another long hour, until at
last Sextus barked at them from the balcony to get to bed already.
And then they were laying themselves down to
sleep, and Jill was taking a deep breath. "Alright then, she
murmured, "it is time."
"Ready when you are," mumbled
Sparrow, and she fell fast asleep.