In lots of countries, drugs are bad. Hell, regardless of borders, drugs are bad. You should not read this. Go here. This information for entertainment purposes only.

A bat is one of the quickest, most efficient, and most easily concealed smoking devices there is. It consists of a small glass tube, roughly the size of a cigarette, and a filter. It differs from a normal one hitter in that the "bowl" is not on top, but rather on the end. Merely insert the plant matter of your choice in the open end, hold pipe to lit flame, and inhale until all plant matter has been reduced to ash. Blow through the tube to clear the "bowl" of ash, and stash in secret hiding place. Without further ado, however, I'll get to your instructions.

You are going to need some things... Namely, a small glass eye dropper, some tinfoil, and if you wish, a bit of a cotton swab for a mainly placeboic filter. Now lets get to work.
  1. Alright, the first order of business is to remove the rubber... thing from the glass dropper tube. You may also wish to break the very tip of the dropper slightly, to make it easier to draw from, and to make cleaning easier.

  2. Now, we want to cut a strip of tinfoil. Should be about a 1/2 inch wide, and 3 inches long. (that sounds a bit too familiar...) Roll it up tightly, so that you now have a roll of tinfoil about 1/2 inches long, and about as thick as your tube. This will act as your screen. Smoke can easily pass through the tinfoil, but it can block most ash. In case any ash does get through, you can use a small bit of cotton swabbing as a second filter.

  3. Using the ink tube from a disposable bic pen, push the cotton batting down so that it is about 2 cm from the mouth of the pipe, as represented by the featureless blob to the left in our diagram below. Next, you're going to ues the very same tube to push the tinfoil filter into the dropper (as represented by the horizontal bars). Leave a centimeter or so for your plant matter (Xs on the diagram); any more, and it will be inaccesable by your lighter- any less and you'll be repacking every 10 seconds.
Here is a diagram of my dropper-bat... note the placement of the cotton and the tinfoil.

        _____________________________________________________________________________________________________/      ~~
     /        {            }                                   |----------------------| |X X X X X X X X X X      ~~
   /        {                }                                 |----------------------| |X X X X X X X X X X  
_/          {      (ONE)      }                                |-------- (TWO) -------| |X X X X X X X X X X 
_            {                 }                               |----------------------| |X X X X (THREE) X X 
  \           {                }                               |----------------------| |X X X X X X X X X X  
    \         {               }                                |----------------------| |X X X X X X X X X X  
      \ _______{___________}___________________________________|______________________|_______________________


One of the great things about these pipes is how easy they are to conceal in a marker or similar writing utensil. Simply find a marker wide enough to hold it, remove the back plug from the marker, remove the ink cartridge, and drop in your bat. If it's making noise, you can use some more cotton swab to ensure it a tight fit.

brought to you by the numbers "4" and "20", and by Bob Hope, Who wants to remind you not to node while high.

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