People have no patience as it is these days, but as their cars get bigger, their attention spans, distance perception and patience are significantly diminished. As SUV's take over, we are all going to suffer. We in the body shop business don't suffer really, except in the amount of available parking space for these giants, all here to get one piece of metal changed for another piece of metal that they will most likely just shove again into the ass of some other, unsuspecting SUV. When they back out of the parking lots of malls, grocery stores and apartment complexes at breakneck speed and with limited visibility. I guess this is why Explorers and Expeditions are girded with strong steel bumpers while Escorts and Mustangs have merely plastic and Styrofoam (if you saw what your cars made up of, people, you'd shoot yourselves) to protect them from wayward shopping carts and pesky parking meter poles that seem to sprout up out of nowhere on curbs throughout the country.

These are not high speed impacts but more Oopses made when people, as they usually do, miscalculate their vehicular dimensions. Unless, of course, you're waiting to get on an on ramp and some moron doesn't take the lull in traffic speed as a mild hint to fucking slow down, and so, ramming his face bar right into your ass. And yes, we are always going to be on your side. The collision is never your fault. Sure.

Rear end hits are far more simpler, unless the cars involved are varying excessively in height. In this case, one guy's just getting a rear bumper for his 4Runner while some other poor bastard in a Mazda Miata is left seriously contemplating his need for a taller coupe. Hey, I hear they make two door Explorers called Sports. How 'bout that, sport?

The customer concerns depend on what he or she does with an SUV. Towing the family of jet skis to the Gulf? Better make sure your frame isn't bent like a pretzel. Don't like the smell of burning rubber as your bumper gently takes the tread off your tires? Better come by and see me, and remember to call first and make an appointment. We try to fix the Oopser and Oopsie in separate weeks, to avoid physical arguments and lawsuits.

And yes, we take all major credit cards, you lemmings!

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