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Oh what a joyous day! The orchards stretch out in front of you in seeming infinity. The wind, casually playing with the apple trees, ruffles your hair as it playfully wisps in one window and out the other. You look out into the lucid sky. Not a single cloud blemishes the perfect azure blue of this sweet Sunday morning sky. A bird is flying alongside you. You look at it, and you are certain it looks at you. And then, it is gone, it's proud golden feathers shimmering as it swoops upwards. The radio is playing your favourite childhood song. Oh what a joyous day!

It could have been.

Such a joyous day!

But it's not.

Some things can just ruin a person's day. You lower the sunshield and look in the mirror. Your face is red. Not a warming red from a loving caress of the cheerful sun. Not a merry red from the agreeable filling of some favourable bottle. And not a flushed red from the contented afterglow of delightful bliss. No. An angry red. An annoyed, flustered, exasperated, piqued and angry red. Red like half of a police car's flashing light. A police car that is clearly visible in your rear-view mirror and most definitely wants to give you a ticket for speeding, which you most definitely were.

I mean, how difficult can it be?

"You know when you're sixty-nining with your girlfriend, and she has such a violent orgasm that she bites down? Well I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital."

"Well, actually, officer, there was no speed limit sign at the last intersection, so legally, the maximum speed limit is the country's maximum speed limit, which is 120 kph."

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm just so excited. I just proposed to my girlfriend on the radio, and she said yes!"

"Officer, you're so right. I deserve to get a ticket."

"Officer, I'm sorry. I know I was speeding. My mind was on organising the funeral. My mother just passed away. I lost focus on the speed. I'm really sorry, and I'll keep my eye on the speed dial from now on, I promise."


You have a million great ideas in your head.

And a speeding ticket on the seat next to you.

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