The bene gesserit training has been hard on him, yes, but it's for the best. The martial arts training is equally critical, and I'm sure someday he'll have telepathic prowess. Albeit, he hasn't yet realized how to bend spoons yet, but he's a quick learner. Soon I'll start making him read Everything2, which he will use in the future to implant memes in the mind of everythingians everywhere.

Today, I've decided a little pons asinorum is in order. I want to see this four year old kick some ass. He's been training, but he's got to get some xp. I've arranged a challenge for him, which should be a perfect test of his abilities.

Setting - Exhibit A. Playground with many kids swinging on swings, riding the seesaw, and falling ass first into the sand. Considering my half brother's age, this is the optimimum environment in which to test him, because witnesses won't get suspicious. Exhibit B stands in the center of the playground, licking an ice cream cone. Exhibit C sits on a bench, unaware of what's happening (or the training at all for that matter), but watches my half brother closely.

Bully - Exhibit B. Tall, chubby four year old who beat the crap out of my brother a few months ago before his training had begun. His belly kind of sticks out of the bottom of his shirt, and when he opens his mouth to lick, it's obvious two teeth are missing. Smiling at the bullies ice cream cone, I tell my brother that, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

Mother of Half Brother - Exhibit C. Clueless to my secret training operation. She doesn't deserve to know. She uses AOL. She now serves only as a test of my half brother's political bullshitting skills.

Now is the time. I whisper to my brother, "Fear is the mind killer." He recognizes the code phrase and leaps forward onto the playground. As planned, he climbs up the top of the tube slide, and jumps down on his unsuspecting victim with a swift dropkick. The four year old titans begin their epic battle, and Duel of the Fates plays in the background. They exchange blows with a ferocity that rivals the /. barrels of elite geese.

My half brother has proved himself... for the first test. Exhibit C runs towards the two of them, screaming at the top of her lungs. She pushes Exhibit B aside and pushes my half brother close to her.

"You're not supposed to hit!" she cried.

My half brother, using his training, uttered a comment then of such political caliber that I had to change my under garments:

"But he hit me last!"

He passed the second test.

There is not a node about this. Half brother, I repeat, half brother. And a quick search revealed nothing even close anyway. /msg me if I'm not looking in the right places.

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