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I don't give money to churches because if they are really the agents of an all-seeing, all knowing, all powerful deity I feel the least it should be able to do is fund itself.

I don't give money to homeless people, if I had that much free time I would have figured out a way to make some money.

I don't "click here to go home", It doesn't seem to matter how many times I click there, I'm still at my fuckin' desk.

I don't use "conditioner", "Conditioner" sounds like the job title of the person who puts all the fine print into contracts.

I don't sign on the dotted line. Due to recent advances in printing technology most of the lines are solid, that or I have to sign in a box. I don't know what types of documents are so sacred that my signature needs to be encapsulated from the rest of the data. However a box does have the advantage of being easily pointed out to a half-witted jury.

I don't "kick up my heels", "take a load off" or "make myself at home"

I don't take my shoes off when entering peoples homes. I hate that people assume that whatever I've been walking around on all day is so repugnant that, by putting onto their carpet, would befoul their homes. "Why yes, I have been walking around in raw sewage all day, why do you ask?" Buy a steam cleaner. Fuckers.

I don't "surf the net". Clicking on web pages has about as much to do with surfing as watching all episodes of the Star Wars Trilogy has to do with competing in a Triathalon.

I don't "eat shit" "go fuck myself" or "fuck off". If people truly wanted to observe these kind of activities they'd have better luck "surfing the web".

I don't "take a chill". Doesn't it bother you that most people who tell you to "take a chill" aren't cool enough to spare one?

I don't seek "permanent employment". In a world where we have "downsizing", lay-offs, at-will-employment, and a company going bankrupt every ten minutes the one thing I've learned is that no employment is "permanent" we need to stop recruiters from using this kind of misleading language.

I don't drive. Living in a town with a half-way decent public transportation system and already havily clogged streets I don't feel it nessecary (or even convenient, or financialy sound) to add to the mess just to get someplace a few minutes sooner. Too many people equate their cars with their egos. I am not so insecure in myself that I need to compensate for some self-percieved lack with some over-waxed, pollution generating, noise making, big metal dick.

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