The perfect non sequitur for just about any situation, guaranteed to utterly baffle, confuse, annoy, or otherwise frustrate the person you say it to.

Unless the conversation happens to be about cheese, of course.
No, you say this because you know my ego needs constant reinforcement.

We can be eating in a fancy restaurant. Excellent food with excellent service. We talk about small things at first, the weather, the quality of recent writeups, how excellent the wine is.

But you sense that something is wrong. Nothing glaring -- perhaps stress at the corners of my eyes. You know what is wrong; perhaps it is something only you can sense, knowing me so well. Perhaps everyone knows. We continue our conversation; perhaps I am making an effort to accomodate you. We talk about your plans for a vacation on Bora Bora; I admit that there is no possibility for me to take so much time off from work, and wish you a good time.

As we start in on your troubles at work, you notice I am sipping my wine faster than is prudent. I stare into the waterglass, at the plate; I play with the utensils. Finally, you can stand it no more. You say:

"I like cheese."

I beam.

You know my character flaws, but you love me anyway. This is the definition of true friendship.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.