A collection of aphorisms to help us understand that the world can be divided between mobile and stationary matter:

The handyman's world:
If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40; if either doesn't work, use the hammer
unknown

The soldier's world:
If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't, paint it green or
If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.
anonymous World War Two-era saying

The statesman's world:
If it moves, tax it; if it keeps moving, regulate it; if it stops moving, subsidise it
quote attributed to Ronald Reagan

The computer programmer's world:
If it moves, blit it. If it doesn't move, skip it
larc.csci.unt.edu/laws

The soccer player's world:
If it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it moves
quote attributed to Phil Woosnam

The scientist's world:
If it moves, it's biology; if it stinks, it's chemistry; if it doesn't work, it's physics
quote allegedly found on a classroom wall

The Gamer's world:
If it moves, shoot it; if it doesn't, shoot it anyway
anonymous, with several variations, the best being: If it moves, shoot it, and keep shooting it until it falls over dead in a spreading pool of red. If it doesn't move, shoot it anyway, or it might start moving, as quoted in a review of Resident Evil

The Frenchman's world:
If it moves, sleep with it; if it doesn't, cook it
quote attributed to Andy Blackford

The flight attendant's world:
If it moves, call it sir or madam; if it doesn't, put parsley on it
quote attributed to George Negus

The redneck's world:
it moves, shoot it; if it doesn't, cut it down; if you're married to it, beat it
quote attributed to John Witters

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.