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I can think of 15 people off the top of my head that I know directly who are bisexual. Is it just me or are more people playing both sides of the fence? Now, me, I'm hetero; completely straight. I can look at a man and find him to be attractive but that doesn't mean I am attracted to him- far from it. I can't imagine putting my "hoo-hoo dilly in someone's cha-cha" (South Park reference there), male or female. It just doesn't appeal to me. And I'm sure that if I was a woman, I don't think other women would appeal to me all that much, either. I guess I'm just not wired for it or something.

I've never understood bisexuality, to be perfectly honest. Is it that people have been so hurt by the opposite sex that they think they'll have better luck with their own? Is it a sense of comfort in familiar territory? Or is it simply that people are so hungry for affection that they'll get it wherever and from whomever they can? Have our parents, en masse, damaged us in some way? I don't know that bisexuality is damaging, but it just doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps its some sort of Sexual Revolution backlash that was never expected... or, maybe it was expected and nurtured?

Coming from the hetero male perspective, I can see why women would consider other women to be sexually attractive because, let's face it, I agree with 'em- women are wonderfully curvy, passionate, nurturing... the list goes on. But what is it about men finding other men and women to be equally enticing? From what I can tell, men are fairly angular, hairy, doltish and rather unappealing on a strictly geometric level. There are some good-looking men out there, I suppose, or the human race would have died out long ago, but what is it that men see in their "brothers" that some women don't? Is it latent homosexual desire? Curiosity? Rebellion? Counter-culturism? Fear of commitment? Since when is the opposite sex not appealing to someone (of either gender)? Does a past negative experience have something to do with it? Is it different for every person?

I don't know. I can't even begin to answer it. I just don't get it. There are times I wish I did, just to know why, but in order for me know I would have to find out for myself- and that's something I can't bring myself to do for ANY reason. I took a hell of a big leap in curiosity when I tripped on LSD the first time (which was once enough for me), crossing the line in sexual matters seems just a little too far for my lifestyle. I mean, it's expressly forbidden in my religion and I follow my religion as carefully as I can. When a bisexual person is indulging in pleasures with someone of their own gender, are they, at that point, being fully homosexual?

sigh

Could someone spell this out for me, please? I'm stumped. Maybe I'm making the mistake of equating bisexuality with watered-down homosexuality.... or sexual indecision.


Don't get me wrong, folks. I don't think ANY form of sexuality is wrong, per se. Wrong for me, yes. But wrong for others?.... who am I to judge?

No, I am simply asking what the appeal of bisexuality is because I don't understand it- but I'd never say that it's wrong for someone else. Their choices are theirs, mine are mine... but that doesn't mean understanding can't be shared or reached.... right?

Bisexuality is the "mental condition" due to which one is attracted to personalities rather than bodies. It's not some backlash reaction to do with psychological or social trauma, as you seem to be suggesting. It's not wrong. It's probably the natural state of affairs - bonobos are bisexual, as well as dolphins.

There is no point at which one becomes "fully homosexual", either. Never met a gay man who hasn't slept with a woman at some stage, myself, and I've met a few. By the same token, no one is entirely hetero. After two years of marriage to a "completely straight, double Y chromosome, red blooded farm boy", we've compiled quite a list of guys he would, and even arrived at some definition of what's his "type".Just a small personal example.

Your basic mistake is that you seem to have been tought that human minds have little drawers in them into which things like sexuality fit nicely, and people who do things outside the acceptable drawers simply have a messy mind. Well, they don't. They just have a different one. Like hair colour, you know? You wouldn't ask what trauma happened in a person's childhood to cause them to have green rather than brown eyes, would you?

Bisexuality is not a "mental condition". It's not a condition at all. It just is. A person doesn't choose to be bisexual anymore than he/she chooses to be homosexual or heterosexual. You are either born that way or not. It's not about being hungry for affection or acting in response to some hurt in his/her past. It's not part of any sexual revolution either. A bisexual isn't on a path to being homosexual or heterosexual. I've heard both said. Bisexuals don't fit into neat little boxes. There are all types. Some lean more towards homosexuality, some lean more towards heterosexuality, and some are straight down the middle loving both men and women equally. Bisexuals are not gay when they are in a same-sex relationship. They are not straight when they are in an opp-sex relationship. They are still Bi. Bisexuals are not just attracted to personalities. It has to do with physical characteristics too. Some are attracted to the strength in males AND the softness and nurturing of females. You would have to ask to know. Sexuality is a very personal thing.

It may be that more people are coming out of the closet, so to speak, because they are feeling more comfortable with the idea themselves. Or it could be, they are feeling more safe about sharing that part of themselves with others. Based on what I know, Bisexuals have it a little harder in some ways, not really accepted in either the heterosexual world (because they are considered gay) or the homosexual world (because they can HIDE in the hetero community).

They are considered "fence-sitters" because they won't make a decision which way the breeze blows for them. It isn't sexual indecision. Bisexuals have made a choice. They choose not to choose. They choose to accept themselves for who they are. They choose to follow their hearts. A bisexual falls in love with the person not the gender.
They know they are Bi just like you know you are hetero, NightShadow.

Just because it is different doesn't make it wrong.


TheLady, I just reacted to what I read. Nightshadow had questions and I answered them based on my experiences without sarcasm.

Nightshadow, I misread you, habit of too many justifications. I agree. People are afraid of what they don't know or understand. Fear breeds Hate. I applaud you for trying to understand.

There isn't an APPEAL of bisexuality. A person isn't drawn to it because it's attractive or interesting. It's just how a person IS.
A friend of mine put it this way: You don't wake up one day and say "Hey, I think today I'll be one of the most hated people on Earth". Would you choose to be hated? It's not a choice.

Coming back to the topic of the node:

There probably are more bisexuals these days. There are probably more homosexuals too. There is a ludicrously easy reason for this:

People are more tolerant

OK, there's still the KKK, queerbashers, the upright and true standing citizens who can't accept that there are some people who love their own gender. But if you told most people, their reaction would not be to stone you, but probably merely to look at you in a wierd light, wondering why the hell you told them.

Whilst the Kinsey report was flawed, his suggestion that sexuality is a sliding scale rather than just three-states has merit. He suggested that 0 be entirely homosexual, and 10 be entirely hetero, with the average probably being somewhere near 8.

OS: opposite sex, SS: same sex.

0: 100% Homosexual
1: Strongly homosexual
2: Has looked at the OS and thought him/her attractive
3: Would consider having sex with the OS, but would much prefer the SS.
4: Has a preference for the SS.
5: Totally ambivalent - 100% bisexual.
6: Has a preference for the OS.
7: Would consider having sex with the SS, but would much prefer the OS.
8: Has looked at the SS and thought her/him attractive
9: Strongly heterosexual
10: 100% Heterosexual.
I'd probably define bisexual as between 4 and 6... before this century, being anywhere below 9 in public would probably make you a social pariah.
The Cow had a good point:

There probably are more bisexuals these days. There are probably more homosexuals too. There is a ludicrously easy reason for this: People are more tolerant.

However, there's an even more ludicrously easy reason for this:

People are more abundant.

Yes, there are more bisexuals these days. There's more of everyone these days -- six billion and racing like hell for seven.

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