OK Wilson,
Am heartily sick of this place. People are babies. Do not know how the previous admin could have coddled them so much, but clearly bad habits have been instilled which I must break. Some examples: Kristina (author of the hideous cruise-themed department party) wants to take a class. I do the necessary research and email her the link to the class calendar and sign-up process. She has the nerve to email me back asking if I am going to sign her up or if she needs to do it herself. She would prefer to email me the information which I will then email the sign-up people, but this does not reduce her work or time spent at all, while it increases mine significantly, and causes potential confusion for the people signing her up. Also, she's not in a position to ask the department admin to do this kind of shit for her. Only the managers have earned that right. Am infuriated.
Example 2: Lucy has been having much trouble clocking in and out on the timekeeping system. I did the research and gave her a number to call. I myself cannot deal with this particular help desk because I'M A TEMP and have no employee ID. I explained to Lucy that they will not deal with me and she is going to have to handle it herself. So she has "limited" her disruption of my time to constant, detailed play-by-plays of the ordeal: "Yeah, so they are going to change my password, so I left a message for Jennifer this morning, but she hasn't called me back yet.... " This has been going on since November. I have adopted the technique of staring at her blankly, saying something noncommittal and soothing, then turning back to my computer until she leaves my cube. This morning she came over and said very dramatically, "So, I tried to log in today and THIS is what I got!!" (shoves printout in front of me.) I look at it for a moment. I don't know what the hell she is going on about. "What's the problem, Lucy?" "Look at these hours! These aren't correct! And look - it says January 10 was a Monday!" This is because she has printed hours for January of 2005!!! I point this out. She leaves but I fear not for long.
Example 3: Synthia corners me in the kitchen (foul #1) and says, "Long and I have this meeting with Person X and I don't know where it is."I tell her I can look it up on Long’s calendar if she knows the date and time. "Oh, I've looked it up on his calendar and it says it's in Person X's office but not what floor." I tell her I can call Person X and ask what floor he is on. She rolls her eyes and says, "Oh, is that all? I can do that myself." I stare at her and say, "Yeah, I think that's best. There's no secret admin method that I know of." Fucking uppity lower echelon employee. good god! I should start a general policy of handing out pacifiers instead of answering these questions. Hate these people. I wear my grown-up clothing for them. WHY????

OK Gruner,
Doood! I feel your pain. I have the EXACT same shit going on here. I give them information on something and they come to my desk and repeat back to me the exact contents of the email, adding question marks where, previously, there were periods. This, too, can go on for months on a single topic. I just "finished" dealing with our maintenance guy who was instructed by me to remove a company plaque from one wall and relocate it to another wall. Gave him plenty of detail. He proceeded to contact me via phone and email for the next MONTH, saying things like: "I was here at 6AM and was ready to move the plaque, but you weren't here. Let me know when a good time might be." or "I just need to know if you are going to be around tomorrow afternoon in case I can stop by and move the plaque." What the hell??!! I had already shown him where it was and where it was going and how it was to be affixed. Why does he need me to stand and watch him? I finally got him to understand that he could do it on his own and then got a call from him the next day saying, "I'm really sorry, but when I tried to remove the plaque, it bent in the middle and now we need to order a new one." ????!!!!!! I swear he did it just to piss me off!! I HATE these people!! Same with the guy who frames and hangs artwork here. I email him a list with diagrams of art telling him what to remove and what to hang in its place, and he still insists I come and meet him here at 6AM to make sure he has it right. One time I wasn't here and he called me like 9 times to verify what I had already told him. I wish I had someone I could just make sit next to me day in and day out while I work in case I might need moral support or maybe advice. FUCK!!! Why??!! Why are we constantly working with idiots? Does God want us to suffer? Maybe we should write our autobiographies and address this. Maybe that should be the title of our autobiographies/self-help book for smart people working with and for stupid people. "Does God Want Us to Suffer?: Apparently He Does." No. Neither of us should be wearing our adult clothes. We should be wearing whatever the hell we actually like to wear. Christ!
Am bleeding more than I should be for my period and feeling faint. Am thinking it may have to do with IUD I recently had inserted. Good times. That's all I need. More hemorraging. Will keep you posted. Maybe I should just contact you every 30 minutes via email so you know I'm alive. Lord knows, my co-workers would probably just move my body aside so they could use my computer for internet access.
Over and Out

OK Wilson,
Am concerned about your hemorraghing!! (sp??) I also think I might hemorrrahge if I have to keep in the maniacal laughter that squirts out of my nose when I read your email. Not the part about you hermohrraging, but you know. Am going batty today because one of the managers has spent around four hours standing over my neighbor's cube, effectively preventing me from my normal screwing around with personal projects. Also, my neighbor has this verbal habit of saying "Do you understand" several times each sentence when she is nervous. Apparently the manager was making her nervous. So for around four hours I was subjected to 1. no personal projects and 2. constant conversation along the lines of "So Dan, do you understand, the code James sent in does not match the requirements, do you understand....” (repeat for around four hours and you will see why my last nerve is a sorry, frayed affair....) Seriously Wilson, I hope you don't bleed to death. Please seek medical help!!!! Not at Kaiser.

No names have been changed. I hate these people.

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