It is never too late to learn how to kiss, and it is never too much to add a kiss to the repertoire. Thus I submit a comprehensive node on kissing tips. If you walk away with nothing else, be creative, kiss an eyelid or something you haven't done before tonight! I firmly believe it is easier to learn how to kiss by watching rather than reading, so go rent a movie as further supplication.

Move your lips
A kiss is nothing without some movement, some sort of brushing against, some sort of suction with moderate sound following. Moving your lips is a matter of delicacy, however. Move your lips instead of your head, for the most part. Moving your head is for angle only. If one of you is only moving their lips, no one will enjoy anything.

I subject kissing categories in many different manners. One such important discussion is finding out whether or not you are a top lip kisser, or a bottom lip kisser. Knowing this will make it easier for you to know how to move your lips against his or hers. I prefer the bottom lip, and I tend to pull it outwards, towards me even, inviting my girlfriend deeper into my soul. I sometimes find light biting exciting, and so does she. Not to be overdone, but occasion does give this pleasantry a chill.

Get rid of the distractions
You might be watching a movie, but I tell you this, a background noise of any kind is distracting. It can end a passionate kiss in moments. For instance, you are watching television and it goes to commercial… on comes an advertisement for penis enlargement, Viagra, or even tampons. Anything can destroy a mood, but television quickest. Ok, well maybe a family member intruding is even more so of an intrusion. But I’m assuming you have thought ahead of time and have placed yourself in proper location.

Thus a blip on locations. BE ALONE, enough said on that. Doorstep scenes are forced, I suggest getting this out of the way as quickly as possible, keep it short and sweet. Beds are sexy, but your first time kissing this particular individual should be well before your lying down with them. Couches are ideal. Just find out whether you have an inability to kiss leaning left, or right. You may not, but I do, I’m far better kissing left because of a lame kink in my neck. I typically sit on the right of a girl as a result. Stand kissing is great for the support of hugs, mix it up between kissing and hugging, or both. Cars, if spacey enough, are okay. If too small, it will cause comedy…

Dynamics, keeping the repertoire sexy
Kissing can become boring so vastly quickly... Change it up. Surprise your lover, wake them up with a kiss, or sneak up on them as they lie on a sofa. Also, kiss more than the lips, girls love the ears being tantalized. BUT DO NOT BREATHE TOO HARSHLY INTO THEIR EAR. Contrary to what some may think, boys also love their ears kissed. I love my earlobe bitten. Everyone is different, of course. Rule of thumb is this, if you like it, so will your partner too. Suck on their finger, as if you were giving them a blowjob. Or, if you’re male, do it how you would like it done to yourself. Kiss the stomach, kiss the hand, kiss the forehead, kiss the cheek, perhaps all in succession, or a trail down to happiness. Most intriguing is the notion of kissing without lips, you can share butterly kisses, eskimo kisses, etc.

Improvements to be made
Brush your teeth right before you see them, as well as swashing some mouthwash. Put some light lip-gloss on ladies, or even some Savex or lip-balm for men. These are far better received than gum, although use if previous aides are unable. Gum is a tool to be used after breath becomes stale. Otherwise it will make your breath become stale earlier than not.

If you don’t hear a kissing noise, that’s because you’re likely doing it wrong. Just brushing your lips against each other is not sufficient. Pucker your lips, you’ll be surprised how quickly this changes everything.

When going in for "the kill" tilt your head. If you are at the same angle, it will not fail miserably. For added excitement, do the Spiderman kiss, easily accomplished when one is lying on the couch and you come from behind to kiss them upside down.

The don’ts
Open mouth kisses albeit passionate at times, are strictly for lovers and those who are feeling passion. For those of you who have spent no kisses to date, keep your mouth shut and share some lip movements without opening your lips by more than a space your tongue could fit through. I say this because you should not use your tongue in its full length, rather, as a serpent would flicker occasionally tasting the air. And you want to taste your friend, but you do not want them to taste “too much” of you. So do not breathe through your mouth! (Unless you’re in the throes of sexual passion, at that point I don’t reckon you can help yourself.) So indeed, breathe through your nose.

Do not bite, nip instead.

Don’t smash your face against your would be lover’s. There is nothing that ruins a moment quicker for me than a bloody nose, a chipped tooth, or simply the inability to breathe because I’m being smothered. Although there are times for fast, rough, or even hard kissing, you are safer starting lightly.

Finally, a Step-by-Step

  1. Get alone.
  2. Find the moment.
  3. Rid the distractions if pertinent.
  4. Start the mood. Maybe hold hands for a while, twirl or play with their hair. (Tickling is affective in some circumstances)
  5. Take Control of the Situation. Nothing is hotter than taking initiative, being confident, and making the first move (or any move for that matter).
  6. Make your move. Do it slowly, try not to shake, and don't bump heads. Make sure they're aware your making the move, but this is done subtlety. I also think girls who want permission asked before you kiss them should die, and go reborn them selves back into the old-fashion era. But they'll see you coming, if they close their eyes, green light. If they flinch, red light.
  7. Angle it just right, slightly tilted so your lips meet theirs at a 30-60 degree angle.
  8. Close your eyes. Notice how I didn't say this until your basically on their lips. This is a common mistake noobies make.
  9. You do not need to consider how long the kiss should last. You'll just know. If you actually take to heart enough of this node you'll probably end up making out, but circumstances may say otherwise.
  10. Move your lips. Make kissing noises, pucker, suck, differentiate.

  11. You'll know if you aced the kiss if you landed/planted correctly, not many errors occur after this that will get you into trouble. Don't forget, kissing is a whole body experience, put your hands through their hair, dig your nails into their back and slowly move up or down, slide your hand down their tummy, up their leg, you get the idea.

I had my girlfriend read this node, as should you your significant other... and she still loves me haha.

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