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One of the best white trash treats one can assemble is the microwaved salami and processed cheese sandwich on cheap white bread. I have been told by multiple people that eating something like this will make me sick or cause cancer, but what do they know?

Microwave as much sliced hard salami as you would like, separately. Spread it out on paper towels to soak up the grease, and then microwave it long enough to get it to a beef jerky sort of consistency - shriveled, and less colorful - to be exact. Be careful pulling this out of the microwave, and don't mind the smell. Honest, it will taste much better than it smells (sort of a rancid bacony smell).

Arrange your shriveled salami disks on the Wonder bread and top with Kraft singles. Smash the second piece of bread down firmly on the cheese (it's important to do this, or else the salami falls out) and enjoy.

Cancer, shmancer.

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