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I saw her tonight,
illuminated by whiteness of the headlights,
she crossed the street, holding someone else's hand,
laughing at someone else's joke.
Her face was that of a ghost in the light,
an ethereal shape brought into view for brief seconds,
only to be seen by me and by no one else.
I sat there, face blanche white,
not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do,
my hands tighten, showing the color of bone beneath.
How I loved her then,
what emotion poured out of me in so few nights,
spent together in endless thought, I knew her every contour,
even though I had never touched her flesh.
The day came for us to go separate ways,
I did not understand why, I could not,
this was all so superfluous, so temporary,
nothing had even yet begun, stopped before I could slip in the door,
back into the light once again.
I wish I could reclaim that day,
take it all back, save so much pain from myself,
reclaim that bit of my life from the dark,
prevent the pain that came so quickly, and the bitterness that followed.
To live in the dark cloistered corners of psyche,
this is my hell, this is where I reside now, and nowhere else,
nowhere else can I go now,
my dark little secret hidden from the light of day,
I am safe now, no one can reach me here.
No one can touch me.
I am nothing.
Pale face watches as night bleeds to day,
feels the searing sun upon his face,
and pushes it all further away,
deepening the fear and pain but preserving this all important secret.
I just want to scream out and release this load,
take your hands off her, she doesn't want you,
we both know you're just trying to relieve yourself,
those days have passed into nothing,
why must I be relegated from protector to watcher.
This is a path I must travel alone,
it's my life to waste,
I can do what I want, so be it if I seek destruction,
it's nothing new, I've already been to the limit.
There is little I can do now,
those days are over,
it's not in my hands anymore,
it is simply time, to let go.
And live as no other one.

this has been a super random [Nodeshell Rescue}.

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