"No Scrubs" was the third-biggest hit (as adjudged by the usual crass commercial barometers) by the hip-hop girls trio TLC, their bigger hits being "Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg" and "Waterfalls." The essential premise of the song is the singers describing what a "scrub" (for which a synonym, apparently, is busta) is and reiterating over and over and over again their preference not to become romantically involved with such a person. But, problematically, the description given is overbroad and ambiguous, and worst of all, irritatingly recursive. A scrub, so it would seem from the chorus of the song, is simply definable as "a guy that can't get no love from me." But that simply extends the class of what constitutes a scrub to any guy that can't get no love from a member of the band TLC. It seems no different then proposing that they do not want what they do not want. Now, granted, there are a few other verses clarifying scrubhood, but it is not at all clear whether these address defining characteristics, or simply examples of a larger scrub class.

The prime example is in the chorus as well, identifying the scrub as "Hanging out the passenger side / Of his best friend's ride / Tryn' to holla at me." So does that mean that all guys who are trying to communicate boisterously from the passenger side of their best friend's ride are scrubs? Or, just the one's who meet other characteristics set forth in the song, such as having a broke ass, living at home with their mama, and so forth? Now, this irks me because I have no car, and I'm usually walking (not having a pressing need for one), so when I (rarely) really need to drive somewhere I either have to borrow one or get a ride, and who else am I either going obtain such a favor from, other than a friend. And then, more likely a 'best friend' then a tenuous acquaintance. I'm not keen to unnecessarily purchase an automobile just to get love from TLC. But getting back to the song, what if the guy is hanging out the passenger side of his second best friend's ride? Or what if it's his ride and he's letting his best friend drive? Or what if he's sitting in the backseat, on the driver's side?

Too many variables. Boggles the mind. If you're nostalgically keen to revisit 1999 and see the vid (which appears to have been filmed in the official TLC space station), well, here it is, good luck to you. Lyrics are posted on the vid page as well.

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