Artist : Depeche Mode
Album : The Singles 86>98
Producer : Tim Simenon
Writer : Martin Gore
Publisher : EMI Music Publishing Ltd.
First Released (US): September 15, 1998
Only When I Lose Myself was Depeche Mode's seemingly unintentional crown jewel to the style and force of their 1997 Ultra repertoire. Released as a single just one month prior to its album release on 1998's The Singles 86>98, Only When I Lose Myself fits snugly at the end of a collection of ever-evolving singles from a strong international electronic pop rock group.
The album cut features sweet bass punctuation and slow, sweeping, velvety lyrics that coordinate with higher frequency synth work to create a forward-moving, dramatic, self-referential musing. The live version, performed during The Singles Tour, is modified substantially: rockier, yet ethereal.
Only When I Lose Myself, the single, features mix deviations of the title track by such talents as Gus Gus, Dan the Automator, and Subsonic Legacy. It also features various versions of new B-sides Headstar and Surrender as well as a new mix of World in my Eyes. This enterprise spans two cd singles -- Reprise 44546-2 released on September 15, 1998 and Reprise 44562-2 released on October 13, 1998 (one week after The Singles 86>98).
As history notes, Depeche Mode hastily departed from this popular and critically acclaimed style on their 2001 followup album Exciter. This migration -- from dark to bubbly; from build-up to runaround; from piercing to lounging -- makes Only When I Lose Myself that much more significant as the last traceable vestige of the energy and courage Depeche Mode gathered during the fight of their darkest hour.
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotised
I feel paralysed
I have found heaven
There's a thousand reasons
Why I shouldn't spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here
I can think of two
To keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
I can feel the emptiness inside me
Fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment
Now that you are here
I feel satisfied
I belong inside
Your velvet heaven
Did I need to sell my soul for pleasure like this?
Did I have to lose control to treasure your kiss?
Did I need to place my heart in the palm of your hand?
Before I could even start to understand
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself