On the TV show Friends, Phoebe writes her own songs to perform publicly. I know for a fact that Smelly Cat has already been noded, but in case you were interested in some of Phoebe's other songs, here are a few she's performed at Central Perk.

Two of Them Kissed Last Night
There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real...
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up, he must decide

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her, she looked so much thinner
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died, and someday you will too
La la la la la la la la la la...

I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supossed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen
La la la la la la la la la la...

Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
And then there are bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La la la la la la la la la la...

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled bakward is nirget
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
As needed

There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But DON'T, cause
That's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do

Barnyard Animals
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers
Nooooooooooowww chicken!!

Coma Guy
You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brainwaves
I'll be there to hold your hand
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have got to say...

Baby Song
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you, and you don't know why.
You cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry, and you cry...

Blackout Song
New York City has no power.
And the milk is getting sour.
But to me it isn't scary.
Because I stay away from dairy.

Jingle Bitch
Jingle bitch screwed me over.
Go to hell jingle whore.
Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.

Smelly Cat
Smelly Cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses.
And you're no friend to those with noses.

Little Fetus
Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas.

They Found Their Bodies
And they found their bodies the very next day
They found their bodies the very next day...

Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!
And you're all invited to bite me!

Double Jointed Boy
He was a double, double, double-jointed boy...

Crusty Old Man
...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas

My Sticky Shoe
My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, ba-a-bay?

Parading Goats
Parading goats are parading.
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats.

Tony Tarzan
Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair.
Swinging with the greatest of ease...

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.