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The one True Path of 1980s bikes, the Raleigh Burner was the bike that the kids fantasised about (at least in moments of clarity when they realised that there was no WAY that their parents would buy them a racing Mongoose).

It was a BMX. But so much more. For, like Cabbage Patch Kids and My Little Pony, it came in a vast variety of incarnations and variations.

Most common, and beloved of the scruffy kids that middle-class mums didn't like you playing with, was the Mag Burner, which was blue with striking yellow plastic mag wheels. Top of the range was the phenomenal Ultra Burner, which had a brushed chrome frame and striking black mags. In between there were approximately 4893 other Burners, my personal choice being the Gold Burner, which appeared to be gold chrome but was actually a rather crappy plastic coating which flaked off.

All Burners were finished off with the gonad-saving polystyrene padding on the frame and crossbar, which were removed as a matter of course as a symbol of being 'hard'. In common with all BMXs (including the really crap £70 ones available in Halfords and the Kays catalogue), they were also customised with Spokey-Dokeys, bizarre 'racing' numberplates with incongruous number (older kids always had 69, for some reason), bread tags on the brake cables and - for children who wanted to get the shit kicked out of them - mudguards.

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