Citadel of Geekdom (home of the department of
Computer Science) at
UC Berkeley. A
scary place where at any hour of any day one can find
CS Students engaged in all manners of unholy pursuits, be it trying to get a hot
cs date, playing their favorite text-based
RPG, or
downloading raunchy forbidden
hentai. But beyond anything else, they all inevitably return to their native depths, to the deep, dank basement, otherwise known as the
computer labs.
The
stench these 4-eyed hoards of unbathing
freaks hangs heavily in the
Soda Hall
basement, where all the minions pray constantly at rows of divine
workstations, each one a luminous
portal to the
omnipotent server.
Many amateur practitioners of the dark magic of
CS have easy access to Soda Hall as soon as they have been bestowed with the mighty
keycard, even on a
friday night. Howerver, truly exceptoinal is the lad who can LIVE within the haven of Soda, never needing to risk the world outside, where
sunshine reigns by day and the dreaded
frat party by night. Perhaps for a night or two one can sleep on the
couches in the
Lounge, but something more
permanent is
desired.
The first step toward this geek
nirvana is an
office. The lucky few who can get an office in Soda then have a place of their own to practice their dark art. They can derive
sustinance with the power of the
telephone and the
pizza guy.
In order to take the final step in this
journey one must gain something so coveted, so rare that it is
rumored that not even the esteemed
Professor Brian Harvey has this
remarkable gift. That of which I
speak is none other than a
key to the
legendary Shower of Soda Hall. According to
legend, the Shower is within the deepest reaches of the basement of Soda Hall. Once the
student has reached this
final step, then
he (and in very rare cases,
she) is finally ready to begin a new life, dedicated solely to his
Master, the Great Machine. And all
eternity will be
bliss.
Oh, and there ARE
soda machines in Soda Hall.
Candy machines too. And, yes, its
architecture is reminiscent of a large
beachfront
bathroom.