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I was toying with some tins of paint last night, and I was fortunate enough to discover a brand new primary colour, which I call Spenglo. Simply take 1 part white paint, 2 parts blue, 4 ladybirds and a quart of sulphate of lime. Mix together and leave to congeal for 20 minutes. When you open the lid you'll be amazed to see a brand new primary colour unlike anything ever seen before.
The traditional spectrum used to be R - o - Y - g - B - p - (i.e between Red and Yellow we had Orange. Between Blue and Red we had Purple). This will now have to be abandoned in favour of the new colour scheme: R - o - Y - yenglo - SPENGLO - spenoo - B - p -
Green will henceforth be relocated 4 inches to the left and will be 2 shades darker.
As you can see, the mixing of Spenglo with blue or yellow results in 2 new secondary colours known as Yenglo and Spenoo.
White, although still attainable by mixing, red, yellow and blue, will now also come in a new form know as 'White Lite' which requires mixing Spenglo with Red.
The mixing of Spenglo with secondary colours is inadvisable and will only result in brown.
The implications for this discovery are remarkable. The artistic world will have to be advised as quickly as possible in order that artists may include the new colours in future works of art. It may be that old masters will need to be updated reflecting this new and vibrant colour. It is obvious from looking at the drab colours involved in a painting such as the Mona Lisa, that Da Vinci was in desparate need of this new lease of artistic life, and paintings such as this must be immediately recoloured.
The clothing industry has already voiced an interest, indeed the controlling interest in Yenglo is now owned by Benetton. Negotiation continues regarding Spenoo but I intend to retain the Copyright for Spenglo in order to license a new range of Power Rangers, and indeed intend to approach Quentin Tarantino with regard to a new casting for the remake of Reservoir Dogs: 'But I don't wanna be Mr Yenglo. I'm being Mr Spenoo.'. Other advantages become apparent in the field of passenger aircraft. At present, due to the problems faced by colour-blindness victims, they are unable to fly planes because the giant sky signs can only be painted in red and green, both of which appear as puce to the unfortunate sufferer. However, new secondary colours have caused a renaissance in the world of sky signs. The spokesman for Voices In The Sky(tm) said yesterday 'This a really, like, heavy day, maaaan.'

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