(Scene) Seven people in a small rowboat on Lake Michigan at night.

Olivia: I hate this rowboat.

Phillip: Well, in case you forget, it was your fault that bones took the Poop-Jet away in the first place.

Olivia: No it wasn't, that was an accident.

(Olivia attempts to push Phillip out of the rowboat)

Todd: Stop fighting, Oscar, Jack and I have been working at Starbucks for three years now trying to save up enough money to get the Poop-Jet back.

Jack: I was employee of the month twice!

Oscar: We shouldn't have quit, I was pretty sure I was going to make assistant manager soon.

Edward: Are you sure we can even get the Poop-Jet back? Bones was pretty mad.

Patrick: Lord Brawl has been in charge for a while now, I think we can get it, just as long as no one reminds him of any unfortunate incidents.

(They land the boat on the shore of Lake Michigan, and walk to a large dusty warehouse labeled "Block Stackers, Long Term Storage")

Patrick: It should be in there.

Olivia: Why are we trying to buy it back? We should just sneak in and take it.

Todd: That would mean that I was slinging Cappuccino for three years for nothing?

(Todd and Olivia briefly scuffle, but Edward breaks up the fight)

Patrick: (Knocking on the front door) Anybody home?

(No one answers the door, Olivia and Phillip eventually push the warehouse door open, and they all enter)

(Scene Change) Team Jet-Poop stands inside a dusty warehouse looking at tall glass display cases that seem to go on forever.

Jack: I can't believe all this stuff is still here.

Edward: How are we even going to find the Poop-Jet in all this stuff? This place must be 2 miles deep.

Todd: It is like that warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, except without all the wooden crates.

Patrick: What is this large flat piece of wood in that display?

Olivia: Remember, that is what they used to use to hit the machine.

(Oscar stares into a tall glass case containing the finest rear end known to man)

Oscar: The hot ass! I had almost forgotten how beautiful it was, I think I am going to cry.

Phillip: Look, over here in these cases. EDB, Cool Man Eddie, N-Wing's Hand, Quizro, theonomist and TheBooBooKitty!

Todd: Why is that case marked thefez all kinds of empty?

Olivia: It isn't, turn your head and look at it out of the corner of your eye?

(Todd turns his head to the side and then leaps back in fear)

Todd: He is in there!

Phillip: Must be special protective glass, remember the rumors about not being able to look directly upon thefez without going insane?

Edward: Look, there are old nodes in these cases, Magic cards, Windows Error Codes, and hard drives!

Jack: I found the Poop-Jet, it was over there behind the hall of GTKY nodes.

Olivia: We just need to find the controls to open up the case.

Oscar: Well my first guess would be that huge control panel by the door.

(The whole team falls all over each other on their way to the control panel, with Edward making it there first, only to be knocked over by Olivia. Edward grabs a lever to avoid falling, and a display labeled "freeze dried assault monkeys" opens up and hundreds of them come pouring out)

Jack: Maybe we shouldn't have done that.

Olivia: I can't even read most of these controls under the dust. How about we just pull all the levers.

Everyone else in unison: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(Olivia begins pulling levers randomly but soon gets into a scuffle with Jack and Edward, while they are all fighting Phillip starts pulling levers)

Computer Voice: Self destruct system activated, all displays and storage units have one minute to get to safety.

(A Star Trek style red alert sounds and all the glass cases open up, we see EDB and William Shatner exit amongst a group of lesbians. Cool Man Eddie runs by pushing something labeled "THE LOUD NODE", and we catch just a glimpse of a hot ass out of the corner of our eye)

Edward: Let's grab the Poop-Jet and get out of here.

Patrick: Lord Brawl is going to be pissed we let all this stuff back out.

(The scene is a mass confusion of people and creatures carrying strange objects out of the warehouse, while Team Jet-Poop forces their way further in, eventually managing to climb into the Poop-Jet)

Todd: Whee, I'm driving.

Olivia: (knocking Todd out of his seat) Like hell you are!

(We see the Poop-Jet slowly taxi to within sight of the front entrance, the deluge of fleeing people has slowed to a trickle)

Computer voice: T minus 15 seconds and counting.

Jack: Why did you stop moving?

Olivia: You have to wait for the explosion. If there is one thing I know, it is how to make a dramatic escape.

Computer voice: T minus 5 seconds, 4, 3, 2, 1.

(Olivia pulls the throttle down and the Poop-Jet speeds out of the warehouse just in front of the oncoming explosion)

Edward: Just like a Vin Diesel movie!!!

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.