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There may come a time in your life when you "hang out" with certain people. You can have fun with them (but not always), you can have a conversation (but not a meaningful one) and they will back you up when you are in trouble (but only if it is also in their interest).

These people are not your friends.

You may be in need of them, since you might not have any other people to converse with, and wouldn't know what to do on Friday and Saturday evenings if you didn't have them.

But never believe they would ever really help you out of a pinch or lend you a helpful ear, a strong shoulder.

These are not your friends. Get some real ones. Now.

These people are not my best friends, but they are friends, nonetheless. They are people I can go to the party with. They are faces I can find in a crowd. They are chairs to sit next to. They’ll do.

It took me a while to learn about myself, I’m still learning, but one true thing is this: I have very few friends. I’m not a social person, no social butterfly, and not free with any of myself. I like to feel safe with my personal parts, I share with one or two people at a time, max. That’s the way I am.

Only, you can’t have a social circle of one person. There are times when you need to go with someone. There a places you want to share, and things you need to see, and not alone. Alone is good, alone is fucking good, but alone can’t always work, and neither can that one good friend, or backup good friend.

These people are not my good friends, but to call them acquaintances is too cold. I never doubt that the foundation our relationship stands on is weak, I don’t expect them to defend me in major conflicts, nor bail me out of tough situations. However, we do share some sort of relationship, and it’s more than just ‘people I know’; they’re friends.


I do not share myself with these people, not because I am fearful of their reaction. Not at all. They are not, however, going to have the slightest clue as to what I am talking about (or why) most of the time. They do not change my mind, nor shape my thoughts. I do not spend that much time with them. I frequently lose contact with these people, I do not call, write, visit them. But they will clear a seat in the circle when I show up, and they will wait for me when they are leaving, and this is why they are friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

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