He's married. I noticed it when I glanced on my co-workers screen when I walked by. I thought maybe it was his sister who he walked in with. He must have been in his 30's. How I wanted him. I was with a client when he walked in. What was usually a 2 second glance to the door to see who walked in became a 10 second stare. My eyes followed him to the front desk as he signed in. He noticed me looking at him. I think everyone in the office did. I turned back only to see my clients looking at me funny. "I'm trying to remember where I know him from." My line didn't work. They knew I wanted him. I don't know what made me attracted to this man. I'm 18 for crying out loud, but I wanted to make love to him right then and there. I saw his wife, his kids, but it made me want him even more. I finished up with my client and walked to the break room. Control yourself, Xochitl. He's old enough to be your dad.I peeked through the blinds. He was smiling. My heart melted and I became quickly depressed.

I walked out of the breakroom and stood in the back. I noticed him looking at me. I didn't make eye contact. Making eye contact would make matters worse. "Xochitl, can you come here please?" FUCK! My co-worker was calling me to her desk. I walked over there, still trying not to look at him. "Can he deduct his meals, he's border patrol." I looked into his eyes. He looked back. We had a moment, and with that moment, I was satisfied. He wanted me. I could see it in his eyes. I answered her question. He smiled, not at that fact that he couldn't make the deduction. "Smart girl!" he said. I walked away, and he soon left the office. I want to see him when he picks up his income tax refund. I want to give him 5 seconds to decide whether or not we will have some casual sex. I'm such a bitch, and I hate myself for it. Sure I want him, but when I see him again, I won't have the balls to even talk to him. It's the way I am. I think like a bitch, but I never go through with anything. Thinking of doing something is sometimes just as bad as actually doing it. Damn all this sexual frustration.

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