Ah, Val Venis.

Val (real name Sean Morley) debuted for the World Wrestling Federation in mid-1998. Vignettes aired on WWF programming for weeks and weeks leading up to his arrival promoted him as a male porn star who was going to try his had at a presumably related field, professional wrestling. Or something.

He came out to psuedo-porn music, wore a towel to the ring, did a little striptease, and made some innuendo comparing his sexual prowess to whichever town he was in. "Well, the Big Valboski has been in New York for three days now, and I've got to tell you: I came, I saw...I came again!"

He was soon the central figure in what was quite possibly the "Most offensive angle to the widest possible range of people" in wrestling history, and I'm including the Brian Pillman gun angle in this estimation. He was feuding with Kaientai--the original 5-member Kaientai, not just Taka and Funaki. Who can forget Wally Yamaguchi, who was married to an underaged, submissive girl who was supposed to be Taka's sister? But anyway, this wonderful angle culminated in Kaientai wanting to "choppy choppy his pee-pee," and they did--right on live television. Someone's head was in the way, but it was very clear what was going on. The WWF mumbled something about it not really happening later, but it's one of those things they don't mention anymore. See "Gobbledygooker, The." To paraphrase Stanley Goodspeed, "it's one of those things the WWF wishes they could disinvent."

Well, anyway, Val kept on with the same porn star gimmick for several years to moderate success, even winning the WWF Intercontinental Championship briefly in early 1999. It began to get tired, though, and Venis was soon relegated to the third-string shows like Heat and Jakked. To freshen up the character, Venis turned heel in 2000 and rejected his venerable porno background, taking on Trish Stratus as a manager and teaming with Test and Albert on many occasions.

After a few months of that forgettable teaming, Venis was kidnapped by the Right to Censor and brainwashed into becoming a member. The RTC "uniform" was black pants, a white shirt, and a black tie, but Venis wore all-white for the first few weeks, leading many to call him the Good Humor Man. That's not really here nor there, but it's funny. He stayed with RTC until their breakup in mid-2001, and he hasn't been seen much on television since then.

Oh yeah...in real life, Morely is a pretty active conservative. I've heard him speak on the radio and a few talk shows, and he actually comes off sounding intelligent. Not bad considering he's a castrated former porn star who dresses like the Good Humor Man.

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