The people I live with are terrible slobs. They rarely clean up after themselves, and take no responsibility for necessary household chores, such as washing the kitchen floor or dusting the living room furniture.

I am an anal-retentive, passive-aggressive neat freak. Ordinarily I will tell my house mates that the house needs to be cleaned, and then I will do it myself, angrily.

Today I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory while I was eating dinner at my boyfriend's house. I sang along with the Oompa Loompas and cheerily ate the chicken with steamed vegetables he made for us. Then he left for study group, and I came home. There were beer bottles and pizza boxes on the kitchen table, and the floor was a wreck - crumbs and sticky stuff yammering for my attention. I glared at the particles on the floor. As I did this, two of my housemates looked up from the living room couch. One of them speaks:

"Where have you been?"
"Christmas shopping."
"Did you buy anything for me?" (he snickers)
"Yeah, I bought you a big can of clean the FUCKING kitchen floor." With this I took the beer bottles & pizza boxes out to the recycle bin.
"Hey, you don't have to do that, I'll take care of it later."
Thinking directly back to snotty Veruca, I practically shout, "I don't want it done later, I want it done now!"

This magically spurred them into action. They are currently cleaning the kitchen. This is a wonderful thing. Thank you, thank you Veruca Salt.

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