I need more caffeine to write this node. Ah, that's better. Now let me begin.

As I see it, there are five basic types of noders here on E2. There are many variations on each species and note, this is not an attempt to label anyone, this is merely a way to organize the numerous net.personae in my own head. If this helps my fellow noders out at all, so much the better.

The reason for my writing this is, over the years I have detected a pattern amoung the puter masses. When anyone has access to the net, they have the chance to rebuild their image, their personality, and this allows for a lot of creativity. A person can make themselves fit whatever ideal or picture they have of themselves in their head. The difference between these personae and what the person is actually like, is that there is a computer between the personae and the rest of the world. No one can actually see them for who they really are unless they wish to come out into the light. There's even a chance that they could keep up the farce long into a face-to-face relationship, for people who know them long enough through email and chatting, may have an unshakeable pre-conceived notion in their minds. Sad, but this can catch up to both parties.

But thankfully we have a much less intense meeting place here at E2. Most of the time we pass each other like ships in the night, waving when we log on, noding our arses off for a time, spouting a few words in the chatterbox now and then, and then we're off doing other things. It's not like we're constantly chatting. Plus, a lot of the people who run this joint and those who have eighty-million nodes, are good buddies outside of E2. Even the basic noder can expound on their thoughts and feelings in a lengthy node, giving a lot of insight into their personalities without constant interruption.

Having said that, I can see these five definite personalities in E2 noders, and frankly, they make me laugh my ass off. Funny haha, not funny peculiar.

Anyway, the five categories of noders are:

Let's start with The 'My-Head's-on-a-Vacation' Browser. Now this is your garden variety noder. They're here to read a few nodes, write a few, say a quick hello, and then they're off like a prom dress. These guys aren't real intent on building any lasting bonds with the rest of us. They may even be the ones frustrating the veterans with their messy nodes, their empty profiles, and those empty-no-explanation nodes-within-nodes. I don't feel it so much myself, as I am a newbie, but I can imagine the distress. But you have to consider, without these flash in the pans, it would be the same people writing all of the nodes. There would be no room to evolve and little variation in opinion. That's boring!

Secondly, we have The Nit-Picking Intellect. Now, I don't know about you, but these guys really keep me on my toes. Whether it's syntax, spelling, grammar, humor, whatever, these guys have something to say about it. This is actually a good thing most of the time, as I certainly had no clue as to what I was doing before I got beat by an Intellect Stick. They will tell you when you fuck up. Kind of like mom, in some ways, but I bet they can't make her fried chicken. They also won't clean up after you, unless of course they have the power, the time, and you have to ask them nicely. (I would like to state for the record that I am not implying that any of the editors are nit-picks.) Sometimes I feel like they're watching me closely, but I think I'm just paranoid. By the way, these guys are veterans. I bet in real life, the nit-pickers can't stand for anyone to be looking over their shoulders or telling them what to do. I'd also bet they're not too too comfortable having to direct people themselves. Well, they do a good job.

Next, we have The Heart-Felt Romantics. Ladies, I hate to do this to you, but a lot of the female E2ers might fit this description. Hey, guess what? This would most likely cover me too. The romantics are very right-brained, creative, and sentimental. They keep up with the Journals and have many pieces of poetry are wracking up nodes for them. I think this is great. This allows for a warmer side to E2. These noders put their most vulnerable foot forward, adding really brightly colored descriptions to their nodes. The only drawbacks I can see, is that if you were to meet these noders in person, it might take a long time to get to know them. This is because they probably convey a lot more about themselves in their nodes than they would be comfortable doing in person. Computers are such a great mask! Also, reading one of their low-nodes can almost hurt. But if they start talking about butterflies and whatnot, I'm outta there. I can only take so much mush.

My least favorite of the noder breeds would have to be The Pompous Ass. The asses are few and far between, and generally you only see flashes of them in the 'box. Unless they are in a nasty vindictive mood, where they like to contradict your opinions in the nodes following yours and rant unintelligible nonsense in 'the 'box'. I haven't seen many of them and I certainly can't think of any I know by handle. A lot of that attitude doesn't seem to be tolerated here. One good thing about these guys, though, is that their nodes can be terribly funny, dark and cynical. I'll bet these guys were the sarcastic smartmouths in high school, the ones who thought they knew everything. Chances are, they probably think they know more now.

Last but not least, The All-Together Completely Fictional Character. Okay, first off, did they kill a man and are in hiding, or are they in the witness protection plan? Did they play too much D&D as kids, do they really like eating people, or are they just trapped in memories of their thespian troupes? Uh, these guys boggle me. But I have to admit, some of them are kind of endearing. Okay, one. One is endearing. Some of the other guys frighten me, I'll admit it. I really do wonder what some of these types are like in real life.

So, that's my way of viewing E2ers and net.life in general. Just remember: everyone has something to hide. Everyone has something to hide and it's just that much easier to hide it behind a computer. I still believe nothing beats meeting face-to-face, but this is just more fun. But don't get too caught up in what a person tells you they're like. Find out for yourself.

Hey! Go skip over to another node now, nuthin' more to see here.

I would like to take this opportunity to say please do not hold me accountable for too many similiarities between you and any of the descriptions. This was not meant as a backlash at anyone, it was merely an observation, a joke, and a WARNING. Hey, take it as a compliment that someone was paying so much attention. If I have offended anyone with D&D slams, thespian put-downs or any other insults, I'm sorry. But the butterfly-slander....I hate the stinkin' bugs!

Ruv - ReMecca

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