Before I start, I'd just like to publicly apologise to the editors, gods, and regular users of Everything. I've been noding for nearly 2 whole weeks, and only now have I come up with a stupid suggestion to improve how things run around here. I'll try harder.

Here is my proposed new version of the Everything University. The original is taking up all that nodespace, when it could be condensed into this simple guide. This is really all newbies need to know:

Everything University for Brand New Noders - Reader's Digest Version

  1. You're new here, so the first thing you need to do is tell everyone about yourself, and start an interesting new node along the lines of "What's your favourite band?" or "What emotion would you like to be?" "Getting to know you" nodes are an important part of Everything - they will be the historical documents archaeologists examine hundreds of years from now.
  2. Some people run their writeups through a spell checker before submitting them. These are the same sort of people that actually bother with grammar and punctuation, and they are beneath your contempt. These things just slow down the process of getting a node from your mind to the screen. Besides, the editors are more than happy to correct your mistakes for you - that's what they are there for. They don't have anything else to do once they reach those high levels, they don't need to rack up the XP any more. Spelling? Grammar? A newbie craves not these things...
  3. As soon as you hit the submit button, don't bother re-reading what you've just written. If you change it, you will ruin the spirit of it. The important thing is not to finish it, but to get it out there so it can start changing people's lives - just stick a "More to come soon" at the bottom, so they know to keep checking for updates. Oh, and if the submit button says 'stumbit' or 'sumbit', then it is broken. Hit refresh a few times, that should fix it.
  4. Within days of arriving here, you'll probably have a fantastic idea on how things could run better. Tell an editor at once, or create a node about it - preferably both. The editors are so busy correcting spelling mistakes, they haven't got time to think up new ideas, and welcome the fresh perspective you can offer. Some of them are quite old, too, one of them is about 30, or something! Often they can't see the forest for the trees, and only someone who has just arrived can help with that. Who knows, your youthful enthusiasm might even rejuvenate these jaded old cynics, and you could give someone a new outlook on life.
  5. If your new node is voted down, get on the Chatterbox quickly, and demand to know who did it. Downvoting will not be tolerated here, and people shouldn't be meddling with things they don't understand. If you let enough people know about it, then the downvotes will be cancelled out by an editor, and you will be given extra XP as compensation.
  6. There's some other stuff you should probably know, about html, linking and shit like that, but they're not really important, and just take up time. Now get noding!

Editor's Note: Good advice, every bit--but what are all of these 'links' doing below your node? Kind of messy, if you ask me...

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