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In Pashto, the verb "to find" is used the same ways that it is in English. It also has one interesting connotation and usage in some dialects that I will disclose later.

My first trip in-country, I was chatting with a local, making small talk, we were covering the standard stuff, everything was good. Contrary to popular belief, Afghans love to talk about family (to a point) and money (no limits). The standard questions are, in this order, "Do you have sons?" and if 'no', "Are you married?", and if 'no', "Are you hopeful?" (basically, "Is she at least pregnant?").

I ask the fellow Sons?/Married? and get two negatives. I ask him if he's looking to get married right now. He says yeah, he wants to get married. Basically, this is tantamount to having the money for a wedding saved up. Yes. Groovy. And then I ask him, "Have your parents found you a wife yet?"

He looked at me like I'd slapped him, and said, basically, "NO WAY DUDE!"

So at this point, I'm confused as hell, because I know his parents are still alive, based on earlier conversation.

Trying to clarify, I ask, "I thought that in Afghanistan, the custom is for parents to find their sons and daughters a spouse?" And again, total denial. He was getting very agitated, so I just dropped it and moved on.

So, turns out, in certain colloquial dialects... Babies aren't born - they're found. And that, my friends, is how you accuse an entire culture of being based on institutionalized incest.

BQ11 - 261

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