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With the idea of co-dependency being wagged in front of our faces, by either self-help books, talkshows, or radio station gurus, I would like to offer a counter point to their theories. If we have one extreme there should be more than enough room for the other side of the spectrum.

Co-dependency, as an ideal, relies heavily on two individuals who, well, rely upon one another in what is to be considered an unhealthy way. One is said to be the giver, who will bend over backwards for the other, and who can not find happiness in themselves if the other is not happy. The other plays their part out as the one who needs to be taken care of, their messes to be cleaned up, their wrongs to be righted. Some people call it symbiosis, others call it Jerry Springer.

So the near opposite of this would be co-independency, where the only thing two people are sharing is the word I just stated. They are connected through possibly a past history, family connections, possibly a inability to let each other go about their own business.

Co-independent people do not ask each other if an action they are about to take will bother the other, whether it will affect them at all. They do not share a home, they do not share a job, they probably don't even share a pet. But they are still 'together' for all intents and purposes. It is highly unlikely that you would find these two people at rest in the same place, or even find them in the same place at all. Hell, they may live in different states... But hey! They're still 'together'. They may argue, bitch, have very little communication whatsoever, but watch out if you even dare try to intervene between these two. Telling them they shouldn't be together would bring out a full on war, just so they can go back to being together but not being together.

Example: Don and Suzie were this couple that my parents knew when I was younger. I do use the term couple loosely, and it was so rare to ever see them in the same place. It was if they were the same person, who part of the time, dressed up as a woman. They would bicker and fight every time you saw them.

One day, my parents had a 'fence party', which is how country people get those long ass fences up. You buy the booze, your neighbors help you put up your fence. Don and Suzie came over, and they set about hammering. Suzie grabbed Don's left hand in her right, they looked at each other, picked up some nails, put them in their teeth, and started down the line. If they were holding each other's hands, they'd be less likely to swing on the other, as they were standing too close and most likely would get hit back. And with the nails in their teeth, they couldn't really start talking shit to one another.

And they loved each other, you could so tell it by the looks in each other's eyes, even as they got in their separate cars and drove down their separate streets. They just couldn't stand one another.

So, instead of having shared responsibility, shared homes, shared dreams, co-independents live their own lives, somewhat avoiding the person who makes them tick. Is this some sick way of proving that love does exist. I don't know. I guess I hope so.

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