Homemade ice cream

3 lb coffee can with lid
1 lb coffee can with lid
rock salt
crushed ice
2 cups whipping cream
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 ts vanilla extract

1. nestle the 1 lb coffee can inside the 3 lb coffee can.
2. fill the 1 lb coffee can with whipping cream, sugar, and vanilla extract.
3. layer crushed ice and rock salt around the 1 lb coffee can.
4. cover both cans with lids, and roll the cans back and forth for about 15 minutes (longer for thicker ice cream).

chocolate syrup
mashed Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
crushed peppermint sticks and 1/2 ts of peppermint extract
any fresh fruit

What to do when you're jonesing for ice cream:

Admit it. It happens a lot, especially when you're broke or after you've been out until all hours. You stumble into the kitchen hoping that the fridge has spontaneously generated some tasty treats for you to ingest. Hoping beyond hope, you ease open the door...only to be rewarded with a half-gallon of milk, a crusty jar of mustard, and a few rolls of film.

Well, my friend, help is here.

I ran across this recipe a few years ago, and it has served me well in times of great trial and distress. The finished product isn't exactly Ben and Jerry's; it's more like the soft-serve stuff you get at TCBY, but it's satisfying in the way that all homemade treats are. You not only get the practically instant gratification of ice cream, it's ice cream that YOU MADE. You are a god, in control of your gastronomic destiny. Try it. Impress your friends. It's also a great thing to make while drunk, because there's no chance of burning down the house or of severing your extremities.

This type of ice cream is also great with stuff mixed in, like toasted coconut, M&M's, or nuts. Add some Hershey's syrup or maple extract to change the base flavor. Go wild. Be bold. YOU have made ice cream. You fucking rock.

Ice Cream in a Bag

1 gallon ziplock bag
1 sandwich-sized ziplock bag
3 T. salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract, maple extract, or peppermint extract
3 T. sugar
1 cup 1% milk (the fat kind will work, too, but skip the skim)
ice (crushed, if you can get it)

Step 1: Fill gallon ziplock bag halfway with ice. Add 3 tablespoons of salt.
Step 2: In small bag, combine milk, extract, and sugar. Squeeze out air from small bag and seal tightly.
Step 3: Place small bag in big bag. Knead for 5 minutes.

Aren't you just the coolest?