Not only has nobody ever seen a pant alone, nobody knows what
a pant is! Since nobody knows what to look for, they will really never
find a pant.
However, to remedy the situation, I shall put forth a theory of the pant.
A pant can refer to one of three things, as follows:
- The outside layer of the pants (that first makes
contact with hot coffee).
- The middle layer
(which transmits the hot coffee to the inner pant).
- The innner layer (that holds the hot coffee close to your
skin; quite painful!).
So, when we say "pants", we refer to
all three in unison. In accordance to this theory,
I would also like to propose a rather
ingenious invention: the
Two Thirds Pants.
The Two Thirds Pants contains
the two important pants: the outside (which blocks light from going
in) and the inside (which blocks light from going out). This way, your privacy
is maintained. However, it has
no middle pant. This way, the hot coffee never makes it to the skin.
In fact, since the middle pant has become a void, the hot coffee is sucked
right out of the outer layer and into oblivion, preventing a stain*! Less is more!
* Actually, while the two pants are unstained, the void/oblivion will
end up with a rather nasty stain and stench of coffee. Not our problem.