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So, you want to have sex with a stick, but you're too afraid of the social reaction to ask how? Fear not! Here is everything you ever wanted or needed to know (and some things you didn't) about having sex with a stick.

The first order of business is to select the proper stick. Not just any old stick will do for fucking yourself (come, treat yourself right!). Some amateurs will walk out into the yard, pick up the first stick they see, and go to town. DO NOT DO THIS!!!!! Having sex with an unprepared stick can result in sever damage to wherever you decided to put said stick. Your stick should:

  • be smooth, everywhere. If you find a stick that you really like but that isn't smooth enough, you may want to invest in some sandpaper time with this special friend. There should be no rough edges and definitely NO SPLINTERS.
  • be round on the end intended for insertion. Remember that thing I said about no rough edges? It goes doubly here. Unless you get into that sort of thing (which is fine; to each his own), you don't want your vagina, anus, ear, nostril, eye, etc. being agitated by a non-cylindrical tip.
  • have a good grip. Their does not have to be a specific gripping region of the stick per se, but your stick should definitely not be slippery or easy to lose hold of. If you lose control of your stick, you can, once again, seriously damage yourself.
  • be of a size that is appropriate for your orifice of choice. It is probably wise to start with a smaller stick and work your way up (no pun intended...ok, maybe a little pun).
  • polyamorous. You don't want to go offending your stick because it's part of a collection.

Okie-dokie. Now that you've found the appropriate stick(s), you need to know what to do with it. Just as an inappropriate stick can injure you, so can improper stick use. First, make sure that both you and your stick are well lubricated. Vaseline, K-Y Jelly, honey, or any well-labled erotic cream will do nicely (note, if you intend to give your stick oral pleasure, the lubrication should be edible). Now that you're all lubed up, it's time to enjoy your stick. First, place your stick at your desired starting point--rub it around a little to get both yourself and your stick acquainted. Next, begin to apply pressure. The key word here is to relax. Let just the tip of your stick penetrate you. Once you have gotten used to the feel of it inside of you, begin to slide it in further. If you encounter any resistance, this could be due to incorrect positioning of your stick. Try adjusting yourself in such a way as to allow easier insertion of your stick. Continue to push on your stick until it is as far inside of you as you would like. Stop. Take a moment to enjoy the feel of your stick inside of you. Tense your muscles around your stick and see if you can feel all of it. Then, slowly, slide it back out. Begin to build an "in-and-out" rhythm.

If you are using a pro-orgasm orifice, you may want to bring yourself to orgasm with your stick. Since orgasm methods vary as a matter of personal preference, the best advice I can give is to experiment. Whatever you do, though remember the two keys of orgasm: rhythm and pressure.

Next up is stick care and grooming. Obviously your stick will wear and tear if you use it frequently, so here are some notes on upkeep.

  • Clean your stick when you've finished with it. If you fail to wash whatever lubricant you chose off, it will dry and lead to erosion. Note: If using your stick anally, be certain to wash it thouroughly before inserting it anywhere else.
  • When storing your stick, make sure that you keep it in a dry, cool place. If you keep your stick in non-stick-conducive conditions, you will compromise its structural integrity.
  • Always examine your stick to make sure it is in good working order before you use it. There's nothing more physically or emotionally traumatizing in stick sex than having your stick break in mid-fuck.

I hope this small guide to happier and safer stick sex is enough to get you started. Always remember, there is no substitute for experience; so practice with your stick and it will keep you happy for hours on end.

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