I'd have to say that going down on a woman before intercourse is a must these days--and not too unpleasant an experience, especially the "wriggling and writhing" part. However, solely paying attention to the primary and secondary erogenous zones, that is the breasts and vagina, is a mistake most men make--perhaps they don't realize that a woman's body is one huge erogenous zone, and that the application of a full body, hot oil massage is often a much more effective means of preparing a woman for sex.

This, however, is an extreme, there are other ways to achieve the same end--touching, caressing, ear nibbling, gently kissing the nape of the neck or the navel. These are all preludes that are often missed by clumsy lovers in their mad dash for more pedestrian regions.

Regarding the post-orgasm hypersensitivity amelinda refers to, a good way around this is to take a shower together, and fifteen minutes or so later, after you're both clean and dry, she'll be ready again.