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Right. So the other day I asked a couple people what their jobs were and one of them said they were a brain surgeon, and I was very impressed. and then the other one said they were a srain brurgeon, and I was very confused. And I said, well what's a srain brurgeon do? And they said that brain surgeons fix brains and srain brurgeons mess them up. And I said, well that's easy enough if you've got a silver hammer. And they said ar, well it's more complicated than that. And I said well how does it work then. And they said well it's a bit like rocket surgery, only with srains. And I said well what's a srain. And they said ar, well, I'd have to srain you if you wanted to understand, now if you'll just stand here please and

Right. So the other day I asked a couple people where they were going and one of them said they were going to Northern Italy and I said they should have fun, and one of them said they were going to Orthern Nitality and I told them to stop pulling my leg. And they said oh, but it's a real place, you see, and it's full of root beer and ginger beer and everything called beer that's not actually beer, like your aunt Sally. And I said now hang on a second, I haven't got an Aunt Sally. And he said well now you do, she's in Orthern Nitaly. And I said well how about that. And he said she's on her deathbed and she's got lots of money. And I said alright, how to I get to Orthern Nitaly. And he said well, if you'll just stand on that glowing mound there, there you go and

Right. So the other day I asked a couple people who I ought to vote for and one of them said I ought to vote for Orford Jackson and I said well that's a name but what does they do? And they said Orford wants to raise taxes and open up trade barriers. And I asked the other lady who I ought to vote for and she said I ought to vote for Jorford Ackson and I said, that can't possibly be a real name, and she showed me the newspaper and there it was. And I asked her what Jorford Ackson was about, and she said that he was in cahoots with the Root Beer industry and he wanted to close down trade with Orthern Nitaly, on account of American tourists being sent there and spun around so fast that they get so dizzy they start mixing up their words and claiming to have all the answers to everything. And I asked her, well where can I -- oh no you don't, I'm not falling for that one again, thank you very much, goodbye.

Three days later I got a postcard from my aunt Sally saying that she left all the money to her favorite srain brurgeon and that the family got nothing. Unfortunately for the srain brurgeon the money was all in Orthern Lira because the place never bothered to go on the Euro and the exchange rate was one million Lira to the dollar, which meant that the srain brurgeon got about half a penny.

I thought I had the last laugh, but he showed me the half penny. Apparently the federal mint made one for him. He must have srained them.

I do feel like there's some skin missing from my nose. Maybe I ought to ask a sose nurgeon about that.