he punched me in the head, by request ov course, and some hours later, i nearly lit him on fire, an accident, i tell you. by the next day, one was warning me off, and another was egging me on. the younger crowd was oblivious, and most of them had gone home anyway. i know i should listen to that punk rock devil and put my hands back in my pockets where they belong, but i've been challenged, and rarely will i turn down one so innocuous as this. yes, the possible consequences are terrifying, but the probables are only mildly irritating, and mostly fun. why this one? and why me? i don't know, but all will be well in the end, because all must be well.

his hair was striped black and blond, and despite his protestations that he hadn't washed in four days, it was soft. it was probably the only protestation he made. none of them had ever seen him this way before, and some were frightened by the sudden change of temperament. he doesn't like girls, they told me, not that he likes boys either, mind you. i couldn't help myself, i had to try. and when i began to succeed, i was intoxicated. his lips were sweet, and from our exposure to the fire, he smelled of ashes. he looked amazed, and so did everyone else.

i was the oldest one there, besides the punk devil's mom. none of these boys were even old enough to drink. just the same, it was the sort of party that i never got invited to in high school. i'd always wanted to go to one of these...wildest spring break yet, even if i wasn't on break anymore. bonfire breakfast, benadryl, and the best pancakes ever. smooches to the pancake god.

i may go back wednesday or thursday, just to see if 'pantry' becomes a dirty word again.