October 16, 2009 was one of those days with an experience that if it doesn't kill you, it can fuck you up for a long time, or make you steel-strong...
But the skeletons and monsters have been outscored.
Today, a journey ended along with my afternoon nap. Half-awake from the 8 hour sleep, I begin a new chapter. The plot is still being written, the OST features special auditions of Massive attack, Yann Tiersen, amillionsons, and many others, as they are yet to be chosen.
I fell asleep thinking of you, my Bête Noire...I must have dreamt of you, even though I am not supposed to, it's pretty wrong, but who could have predicted this climax of events?
2 teens on a summer trip, evidently hating each other, never missing an instant to tease themselves. A spoiled, selfish, upper-east-sider, who thought he could have anything and that anyone could be owned.
A fairly naive little girl, with beliefs and ideals that reached far beyond mundane reality. With dreams and feelings which others only read books about...
With pretty many bugs & glitches made by carelessly giving her heart to beings not ready to take care of such a burden.
She showed him that not all people are the same, he told her music stories, she wrote him long e-mails about what it means to be really alive, he sent her melodies containing too much magnitude for a soul-less urban zombie...
Before she'd realize, she found herself healed from the scars of past, ready for the fresh start she always wished...
Oh, but if only things were that simple...
If life's equations hadn't contained so many "x"-s and "y"-s, and Ego, and Vanity, then, maybe things were really possible.
But they're not.
Because now, I would so much want to call you and ask you ....Wait a sec, what should I ask you? What should I say if you were to question my reasons for calling?
That I just wanted to call, to talk to you, 'cause I feel so me around you, I can laugh and say silly things which you find utterly amusing? That I find you weirdly intelligent and see a different you, far from the picture painted by your friends? That I like to make fun of your attempts to bang all the women in this town? That i think that, maybe, I could show you what you've been really missing?
If I'd phone what would I say?
That I've sort of missed our conversations about Nietzsche and argues about different stuff which crossed our tiny minds at the moment?